The water is toxic so I'm drinking through a filter.

I'm trying to piece this shattered reality together and I've started to take note the walls are closing in on me everynight when I try to sleep, try to dream of a better world, a better place, a much nicer place to face when I wake up to the sun blaring through the cracks of my curtains and flooding my room with the false sense of warmth it makes us feel when the summer has long passed the only moment that ever existed in our comprehension as to why the walls are crawling into our bedposts, making me paranoid, scared and hostile, that no one else seems to notice the shadows creeping up my bed but me, giving me such a fright, I'm so sick and tired of the dreams I have each night so I dropped my pen on my notepad and took out my saw, and took out my screwdriver and watched my bed fall, collapse on it's legs, it cannot withhold the weight of my mind, like boulders on shoulders and folders on desks, I found out the hard way you'll never be the beat the test, because we all feel as though that we can explore, that we will discover and we will enjoy, and although things are changing each stroke the hand shakes, they're never quite changed until your mind makes the mistake it intakes and accepts that what the eye spies is never not a mockery of truth but a mockery of matter and then as you're sinking another piece will shatter but I want to swim over every wave made and filter the sand that builds up in my hands and then I will know, I will know my existence begginning and maybe that'll mean that I'll stop swimming to the depths of the past instead i'll figure time is the only shadow lurking over me and if I cease to believe in it then it can never again, touch me and laugh.