Thursday, August 27, 2009

The most amazing thing ever!

I was driving home down near the airport with Stefan... after graffiting "I LOVE YOU" outside Ceri's window/road.
When the most amazing thing happened:
A huge bright circle burned in the sky then zipped down leaving a green/white trail of light behind it! Then it turned into what was clearly a comet... and you could see the orange light of fire around it as it travelled diagonally downwards for a good amazing 5 seconds, before slowly breaking down into pieces quickly before disappearing.
It wasn't like a shooting star.
We both screamed of joy afterwards... i think i orgasmed just a little :s
But... undescribably amazing.
I swear... at 2 in the morning we wouldve been the only two to see it.
Much love guys... we're off to spread some more love.

Monday, August 24, 2009

The Illusion VS The Delusion.

An illusion is something we personally create.
Life is an illusion, we created our lives.
Its something in which its not.
Eg. -An illusionist can seemingly make something disappear.
-If i don't like a certain aspect in my life, I too, can make it 'disappear'.
Its still there, it still exists, but i no longer see it.
People's ignorance towards animal suffering highlights this aspect.

However, a delusion, is too see something in a false manner.
Most aspects of life are a delusion.
We become passionate about things that don't matter,
take celebrity magazines for example;
Most know more about Jennifer Anniston than they know about themselves.
When i say themselves... i mean, their pure spirit. Their true being.
Not their deluded lives.

Labour and other Materialistic values, fabricate the delusion of a 'life'.
So when someone tells me to 'get a life'...
Basic interpretation could be:
'Enrich your life with distractions.'

Things are always there to be done and to distract us.
If i could have it my way,
and none of the aspects of life's delusion were here to distract me,
and illusions were'nt created for me to miss the bigger picture,
I would be highly accomplished.
On the things that reflect my true self.

All i want to do is the things i feel most passionate about, not work, not fight,
not worry about what outfit i'm going to wear in 10 weeks time- I find it hard to belive that THIS can be anyone's passion.
They've just fallen in to the trap of delusion.
Hmm... I seem to analyse the situation more than live it.
My deluded weekend:
Worked all weekend in Wangaratta, at the State Swimming Championships.
They made me swim two races aswell. I got a bronze in the 18/over 100IM which was rather funny as i havn't swam in two years and I still am the fastest 18 y.o in Vic *head bursts*/ and did a 59.1 for 100 free/ Madison got to see me in action. How shit :) I just wanted to Play music and cuddle.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Trial Tales.

I need to catch-up my diary entries!
So im just going to a speed run of keywords;
- Stefan drove me around
- Visited Maddi, Madi, Ely, Ceri, Soph
- Sam and Hayden etc Dinner @ Paddy's
- Paddy's Chillz- Ashlea's Bday
- Roi w/Soph + Ally
- Super Rad fun w/ Soph
- Licked Ely's face ha- Stayed up all night being deep + funny
- Bought Ely soft serve
- Car temporarily broke down lol
- Recorded Horsey X film clip- Got hurt haha
- Went saw Madison for our 2 month anniversary :) ILY
- Went saw 'Inglorious Bastards'
- Pretended to mum i was @ Allys/Megans Studying :S
- Got back at 1am
- Did SUPER shit in biology exam
- Im gonna get in trouble for writing "funny" answers :(
- Started on a new acoustic song :)
- Work
- Going to See Madison asap
- Have to swim/coach @ Wang all weekend

Sorry for the boring blog!
I just wanted to get on top of things...
Got some cool idea's coming up for next few blogs.

Love Judd.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Dreams are reality too.

Today i had my introduction to Trial HSC, for Adv. English.
I went to the hall, ignoring the fact i was meant to be in F Block,
not with the standard english students... lucky it was the same test paper!
My creative story went off... it was the story of my imaginary life, more like a blog entry.
I didnt practise it, improvisation, but i hope i went alright...
i'll be able to refine it for HSC but :) I'll post it up here when i get it back.
Essay=BLEH. I really should get active and get myself a refined essay skeleton. dang.
I then went home and just jammed out on my guitar until work.
Wrote a new acoustic song. "Back to the Drawing Board".
Lyrics and chords, in about 20 minutes!
It seriously was an improvisation, i then tried to recapture.
Also decided im going to keep writing as many songs as possible and make an EP
and stuff and just see how far i can get with that.
And... that i want to be a Musician/Actor/Hypnotist/philosopher at the same time.
Been trying to study for maths.
Instead got stuck watching an Albert Einstien Docu on history channel on Austar,
then "the genius of Charles Darwin" by Richard Dawkins! Was awesome, but i seen it before :)
Now im watching "Ancient Super Navies"... Old civilisations are rather brilliant!
eg. Egyptians invented first flying machine.
Judd's Fave Quotes of today:
-I am never afraid of what I know.
-An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.
-Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.
-Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Singing makes me happy :)

I had the bestest weekend.
Lots of fun and lovely people!
Oh and my girlfriend is getting buff. Its slightly scaring me ;)
I love her smiles for miles :)

lol my song at the end with the japanese girls entering is funny as.
NOTE: I love all of the people i call friends.
WAY TOO MUCH. there's too many of you to name right now... but you know who you are.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Bodily Imprisoned.

In The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus.
My Non-existent God!
I cannot wait for this. (and then i just started to ramble...?):

Imagination is an incredible phenonema.
But so distorted to such weak, frail minds.
I will meditate.
I will learn to leave my body where it belongs;
The pits of hell on earth.
My spirit will become free.
I will become aware.
So consider my body a robot.
Here to do its job.
The energy left behind, going nowhere.
Only thing that moves will be your watches.
I will become no longer a slave to the physical.
I am planning my escape.
Goodbye's have already been said.
You'll just have to wait in line.
I don't make the rules.
Not anymore.
The remaining brains do.
Prison born monkeys sub-conciously saw;
And Prison born monkeys sub-conciously did;
But we've never been caged within a cage.
Not physically.
Pain is physical.
Pain is feared.
You can't feel pain if you're unconcious.
But pain is only one silver bar in my cell.
Its upsetting to find out living is unnatural.
I always thought i was lucky.

Yep... True stroy. However:
Truth is only a Perspective.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

She bowls me over.

Herself included :D

Got to see lovergirl tonight which was sooooo good!
She came down with Marty, Brady and Zil and Jordyn and I tagged along to the ten pin bowling ally. I watched the first round as i was too late. LOL @ Madison.
Second round... I WON :D
I got 164 (new record!)
Ha! and whenever i got a strike, (Brady put his screen name as "bitch") it would come up on the screen "Your shout Bitch!" haha and it was funny.
Did my trial HSC monologue performance today and im really happy with how it went.
The lines were on the tip of my tongue so i was free to go wild on stage.
And go wild i did.
Have you ever seen a spider spinning its web?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The Anti-Rotting Society Club.

A man distraught by all the pain and suffering he saw all around him broke down and banged his fists into the dirt.
His head turns upward and he yells at his God.
"Look at this mess. Look at all this pain and suffering. Look at all this killing and hate. God. Oh God! WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING!!"
And his God spoke to him and said
"I did. I sent you."

Now what the fuck have you done lately?
Get motivated... and lets kill this lazy ass, tear-filled, God Worshipper :)
*I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
No, no... its the MORAL of the story i like.

OH, and today... i sang "Your guardian angel" at assembly.
I was pretty happy i hit all my desired notes at the end.
Hope ya'l enjoyed!

Life is what you make of it.

I'm not refering to Quantum Physics either... but Choice.

Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Judd,
you have two choices today.
You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.
I choose to be in a good mood.
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it.
I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life.
I choose the positive side of life.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Act your age

Someones age has nothing to do with their maturity.
Its not hard to work out, I'm sure we can all pick on those immature traits of our parents.
So when i say 'act your age' I'm just referring to the stereotypical belief that you mature with age.
Here's whats got me:

The law that 18+ are classed as Adults.
That sex is illegal under the age of 16.
Yet an 18+ and a 16 year old can have sex.
Which technically means its ok for an 80 year old to have sex with a 16 year old.
But a 'just turned 18 y.o and a 15 y.o' cant.
Three years difference... or seventy?
Stupid laws... reasonable morals?

My point being:
An english teacher at my school.
Feels it necessary to became highly engaged in an immature bitch session of a group of "mature" jealous students, who have nothing better to do with their lives than treat Madison and I like a Hollywood magazine couple, to find gossip and find a slight sense of entertainment in their lame excuse for a life.
YES: I am 18.
NO: she's not 14.
YES: i know 15 is not much better.
YES: We have sex.

FYI: I honestly thought she was 19 when i met her.
Why? Because she is so matured compared to most the dead shits* I have to deal with,
and she is physically, insanely beautiful, and most 15 year olds are not.
When i found out she was 15 i was like :O and felt bad.
I've asked randoms how old they think she is from first impression and they all said 19!

SO: What i learnt in Sex Education...
The body is physically ready to have sex at the age of 13 (Puberty)
But they say mentally, you're not ready until 16.
Well let me just say, to the two-faced-slut who is trying to root as many people as she can... is it 27 now?
You're an immature bitch... and although you might be 3 years older, you're definitely 10 years dumber.
Please refrain from starting a third period of English dedicated to a class bitch session over two people who are ZERO concern to your life whatsoever.
And to the teacher**, shouldn't you be addressing the course of the HSC?
To all of you.
Say your shit to my face...
and I'll do the same.

*Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions. - Albert Einstein
- This was the "best answer" in response to the 18/15 relationship on yahoo... what a joke.
Its illegal if they are having sex.
But what why would he have interest in a 15 year old girl?
at 18 his supposed to be going out drinking, having a job and a girlfriend his own age.
I think you should leave them to it, they will split up soon just make sure they are not having sex.

**I never teach my pupils. I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn. - Albert Einstein.
Take a leaf out of his book teachers.

Love is a mental ilness

But so adorable. I love this video. This video should be the anthem of what love is.

Speaking of Love...
Madison got back from QLD finally after two and a half long weeks.
On friday had my 4th Ouija Board session.
Slept with Ash.
Saturday cuddled the tits off Madi.
Went to Beechworth, filled in for Bonnie, Deadweight, sang "brothers in arms" cover and "vultures".
Went to Wes's afterwards, dropped Mr Ashley home.
On sunday, Radison and I took a drive out into the meadows and i sang her the song i wrote her ;) haha
Should i post the lyrics?
I wanna record it soon, that'd be cool.
But yeh... it was romantic/corny as hell :)

Friday, August 7, 2009

"The only thing that interferes with my learning

is my education"

I got all the passwords and proxies for the 'World Wide Web' at school.
So thrilled :)
Reading Ablert Einstein Quotes... he is the greatest.
I could post one million examples but here's one i liked:
"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Give people a piece of your heart,

not a piece of your mind

I thought i'd skip the philosophical craz and make a bit of a public diary entry. It's been two and a half weeks now that i've managed to survive through a (should be) stressful period, without my heart. She gets back on Saturday :D It's going to be insane! ;) I really love that girl, i swear she could not be any more perfect for me :) Also on Saturday, I might be singing for deadweight in Beechworth. Gabriel asked me :) I love that kid. But yeh Bonnie can't... BUT COME DOWN! Beechworth memorial hall... 6PM. I had my first taste of a music eistedford yesterday... Sang "Your Guardian Angel" by Red Jumpsuit... Went alright actually. Cept now i have to perform it at assembly on Tuesday. Eeek :S and today i had a Drama performance night... was pretty dang intense, but fun. Its weird... when i get into "Drama mode" i have so much fun and am so confident, but when its just the odd class, i so don't. But yeh... we did pretty sick. and so did everyone else. Oooh and i saw Sophiaaaa! what a rad bitch. On the darker, deeper side of things... One of my childhood bffl/family friend, got confirmed he had leukemia today :( It's very sad. Such a shock, My heart goes out to him and his family. It got me thinking. Why is it we always regret not getting closer (etc) to people, before, things like this happen. Motto: Time is Everything. So, Keep your friends close, and get to know beautiful people. Damn! i went all deep again. Why so serious?

Theatrical Matrix

Lately, i've almost ditched my humanistic views on life, because Fate seems to be happening so perfectly.
Fate seems to introduce me to people at the right stages of life when i need their influence or direction, to either learn from their knowledge and wisdom or challenge my own. Just like this happens to me, I feel I have this same purpose and impact on others lives too.
But according to afterlife spirits, and my rational beliefs... fate, is non-existent.
So by fate... I guess I mean the idea of 'chance'. (Luck)
Hypothetically Speaking in terms of Metaphysics and God...
Life is much like theatre.
Characters pop up, fulfill their desired role and leave the stage.
The director is no where to be seen, he created his vision... a God like role... and then allowed the actors to further develop it.
We are the actors, with nothing but a skeleton script of the characters we are to play.
So in conclusion, I've taken on the position of lead role, just like everyone should.
I have a purpose, as do the other actors... but its is the character and their purpose that the actor has control over.

To analyze the position of Director.
There's 3 possibilities I can think of:
- The Director as a creator. Who now sits in the audience and watches on.
- The Director as an onstage director who interferes, experiments with the play.
- The inexistent Director. That life is but merely a game of improvisation.

Either way,
I believe we're in rehearsal.
Trying still to perfect this play.
I don't think we ever will.


Judd? Why have you never drank alcohol?

I wouldn't bother telling you in person...

So here goes nothing:

Growing up I have very fond memories of my Mum.

Thousands of them.

I have next to nothing when it comes to memories of my Dad.

The only memories of him are him up 'his' end of the house, on his couch with a 6 pack of VB next to him.

Him coming home from the pub every night late drunk and angry.

I think the nicest thing i can remember him doing was buying me a KitKat while I entertained myself at the Kinross Pub all day while my mum slept, as she does night duty.

We as a family lived in constant fear of him. Im not going to elaborate further of the things he did to cause this fear.

But 'I' just took him as a joke as a kid, which is the best thing i could've done.

It meant i considered him in no way a family member,

and this 'smartass hatred' I had towards him helped disconnect any attatchment i had towards him.

So when the divorce finally took place when I was 10 or so...

it did not at all affect me negatively.

I remember we actually had a party.

It was one of the best things that could of happened i thought.

Although i did not care at all, that I had such a bad Father, I guess it has played a big role in my original opinions of Alcohol.

I think the thing that hurts the most, is when I get told stories of him and see photo's of him previous of him becoming wrecked by alcohol.

He was this young, rad/good-looking guy... photo's of him and my mum oversea's and stuff.

Some of the things he used to do and say were honestly hilarious.

Not that I ever met him.

Its this extreme contrast i see in him. That shows how negatively alcohol corrupts the brain and the body.

He now looks like an escaped convict, withering away... alone.

I remember whenever I was a shithead to my mum growing up, or even now...

She used to say "You're turning out to be just like him!"

This scared me. Terrified me really.

I thank her for this though! Don't worry.

It was at these young years of my life I had already sworn off ever drinking alcohol.

And comments like that made that vow to myself stronger and stronger.

Every member in my dads family seemed to turn out the same, and i compared that with my mum's family whom i loved greatly.

I want to be the greatness in my Dad, not the Worst.

One day I want him to realise what life he could of lived when he looks at me.

Rather than just calling me a faggot or a poofter, like he did throughout my childhood.


So there's my background.

Now to continue further into this.

When it finally came into that age of high school when

the big fuss and craze is over drinking I remember I first dealt with

telling people NO, i dont want to drink.

For some reason it was extremely hard for people to accept.

Even my closest friends would still nag me 4 years into it.

They've given up now haha which is good... and probably due to the increase of interest involving STRAIGHT EDGE.

When i saw people drinking, i just looked at it and would see them drinking poison.

Thats all they were doing... Poisoning their brains. Paralyzing themselves. They not likely to drink something labelled POISON but for some reason alcohol just get the big tick of 'acceptable'.

But back to the period of "underage drinking"

as much as it revolted me, i would get tempted...

especially when I wasn't feeling confident or shy, and

all my drinking friends would be oh so confident.

But i stuck at my guns. Im glad i did.

So now recently i've come to realise.

People who drink at a young ages either seem to mature much earlier, or just wind up failures of life.

So at this point in in time.

I'm becoming friends with the people who I would have probably despised when i was 13. The people who used to get smashed at 13.

But the thing i've come to realise...

They experienced that at immature stages of they're life.

and now they're all hitting the age of 18 (the age where now its meant to be appropriate) they're over it. They've done that and experienced it and now they would prefer to live with a life without it. Edge.

Which I really enjoy.

It says something about "clubbing" and that stupid cliche question you get asked when you tell someone you're 18...

"ooh have you gone out yet!?"

Don't even get me started on how much despise i have for the "NIGHT CLUB" scene... nothing but a good oppurtunity for ignorant girls to get raped by sleazy men.

Its overated.

I seriously have more fun at any party, without alcohol consumption, than people who do drink.

I feel good the next morning.

I dont regret anything, i dont spend my night crying or throwing my guts up. It's great.

So my tip for you is.

If Alcohol has become a nessecity in your life.

If you cant go to a party and not have fun without it then... you need to find some people who get you high on life. People you feel comfortable and confident around.

I remember during year 8 we had these two extreme, macho, strong freaks come to our school and do a performance of stuff like blowing up waterbottles with the strength of there lungs... and one of them later gave a bit of an inspirational speech about how he had never let alcohol pass his lips. It really inspired me, as before that i had never heard of anyone who had gone through life without a drop of alcohol. So this helped me keep my mind focused on who "I" was, and what i stood for throughout the tempted years of my life.

So just ask yourself...

has alcohol become a part of how you're shaped?

If it has, then make this impact a positive experience of change, not that you have to not ever drink again. but just make sure it doesnt shape to consume you. A learning experience.

Because I have seen it. Severly.

And i can see it... people that are shaping up in that direction.

So... THAT is why when people ask me "why don't you drink?" i usually give a false reason like "i just dont".

I hope that helps clear it all up for everyone.

And no i don't claim edge...

partially because i feel a bit more 'superior' :S

but its just a different story.

I respect straight edge people SO much though.

So yeh. this is me.




I want my first tattoo to have the text unpoisoned, what do you think?

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Education Vs Knowledge

What is the goal of education? Making honor role? Or making sense of the world?

Once upon a time a child is born who, after spending many days blissfully watching how his fingers move and realising the beauty of the sun that shines through his window every morning, enters his first year of what will be the focus of his next decade of life: school.

And so, as he embarks upon his educational career, he learns many things.

First of all, he's taught that there's a difference between learning and living...

as if learning is here in the school building, and living is outside, and there's no correlation between the two. Except of course the 4 hours of Strict Study maybe. As if what he did for the first five years of his life - like discovering language - wasn't learning at all.

He learn that to be confused or wrong is a crime. The school wants Right Answers, and he learns countless ways to con the teacher into thinking he knows something he doesn't; he learns to cheat. He also learns to be lazy. Before school began he worked for hours and hours, with no thought of reward, to make sense of the world. But in school he learns that no one does anything they don't have to and he learns to be bored.

Do I speak personally?

That our educational system misdirects the youth of today?

Don't get me wrong. Education is vital.

But the system is.. like many things... grocely imperfect.

And the problem comes with the misconception that learning begins just after the first bell rings and stops after graduation.

Education is a lifelong process.

But Parents and Teachers 'teach' kids that the reward for learning is not knowledge but a good report card,

there's no wonder that the problem is lack of motivation.

I think that the point of education is not to teach what to think but how to think.

That way, even if we don't remember, say, the quadratic formula, we still know how to problem solve. And that way, the FAQs of the classroom:

What's the point of this? Why do I need to know this? - will disappear into oblivion.

Why do kids learn?

To get good grades.

Why get good grades?

To get into a good UNI (Fulfil parents dreams).

Why a good UNI?

Because then, as everyone knows and has been brainwashed to believe, we will be more likely to lead a happy, successful, and fulfilling life, with endless oppurtunities.

What a motivation.

Frankly, I think that if people are not learning for the sake of learning itself, they're missing the point.

Why come to a place 250 days out of your year if you have no interest in what you're doing there besides basically preparing for the rest of your life?

When at that age you should be exploring what life is.

The problem is, the stress and the pressure of failing... even if they're not prepared to start giving it their all, its this idea that your a faiure in life that they fear, its what parents and teachers believe. So when one has four hours of homework a night plus sports and music and work and whatever else one happens to be involved in...

One doesn't have time to see the beauty in the world (or whats left of it).

Its not enough for me just to Criticize. As I learnt in School, yet probably could've well worked out on my own, that its not enough to make a valid point. You've got to provide evidence, proof or what you would have done better...

What do we need to do?

I think, for one, that learning should be a more active process.

It's a bit ironic to learn about the world by being taken out of it.

Get rid of the emphasis on grades.

How is it possible to stick a number on a piece of writing or a piece of art or music?

Sure enough Maths is reasonably straight answered. But HSC results!

Boy do they love to toss that phrase around! HSC results are crap.

Kids work so hard for a bunch of percentage scores. and the final UAI is nothing like what they actually deserved. However grading may be justified with explanations, it shows the student that what counts in the end is not whether he has learned the material and will apply it or use it to enrich his life, but that a high number will get him into a good University.

How do you truly measure what someone knows?

"Let the child learn what every educated person must someday learn, how to measure his own understanding."

What is the goal of education? Making honor role? Or making sense of the world?


It's a bit off topic... but im just on the line of thought: Why is spirituality not ever touched on in school...? Only in Religious schools. Spirituality should not be associated with Religion, as it is an aspect on its own; Much better too, without the corruption of Religion. I've learnt SO much on my own, every night after school. Yet i feel i've learnt none of what i find important at school.

I want to learn the bigger picture of this lifetime, how it came to be (and no, I don't think evolution or creation is correct, i'll tell you what i believe in a later blog) etc,

Before I start to care about all the seemingly little, pointless things i'm taught.


Blogger :)

Let me introduce myself:

Physically. Mentally. Spiritually.
I really really adore a girl named Madison :) Eff off.
In my spare time i enjoy Muff Diving. Eff studying.
I listen to music. Eff radio.
I have Fins. Eff Toes.
I have AIDs. Hearing Aids.
I Throwdown. Not Up.
I have not ever consumed Alcohol. Not edge.
I eat Tofu. Not lives.
I bow down to people like Einstein. Eff pathetic attempts at God.
I enjoy documentaries like Zeitgeist. Eff MTV.
I have come to accept that nothing actually exists.
That our subconcience mind is merely creating
what i know to be reality.
All i know is I exist in some form.
Im the main character in this game.
You're all props to pave my destiny.
Ive given up on finding myself a categorisation. A genre.
There's 6,706,993,152 people and 4,200 Religions, and of that 10 major Religions.
Why do we need to classify ourselves into someone else's beliefs? Be creative.
Im making my own. You're not welcome to join.
Thats the point... get it?

"This is me taking control of my life, now what the fuck have you done lately?"