Thursday, December 31, 2009


I wish I didn't have to let you go. I've really found out lots about myself this year. At the moment I'm learning alot of things from experience and alot of things through research. There are some fantastic people out there, just like there are some bad people out there. As to the picture... yes it is my blood. No I'm not slittin' wrists over it, my hands and finger are just so unbearably dry that they start bleeding when they feel the need. I don't have any real incentive as to where I'm going as of yet. I know I love music, I love acting, I love thinking, so I guess once holidays end and all my fun goes back to school and work or even Uni now... I will be making lots of music. Thinking a shitload about ways of approaching everything in life in the most effective manner, trying to make a difference to this world. I want to write music that expresses my idea's, that makes people think, whether it be relatable relationship concepts or world revolutionary idea's. But for now 2009... You've bought me the greatest moments of my life... possibly the best I may ever get to experience. I wish I could get stuck in a time warp and stay 18 forever. Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friends... hopefully I will see you next year.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Blogger is the new Truthbox.

People should learn to be honest to people's faces, or cyber faces.
In a nice way however.
That's the good thing about people down Dean street.
If they don't like my hair they'll let me know.
In a nasty way however.

You will never know.

Thankyou Ceri for taking this photo. iPhones take rather nice pics. I'll upload the rest to my/book later.

There I've said it.

I'm so impulsive I find it repulsive. Sorry, I'm still in a strange place.

Can I just say... I fucking hate quotes involving the words:
Live. Life. Love. Learn.
They seem to be flood every retail store, even food stores.
They can be arranged in any order.
Love life. Live and Learn. Live life. Fuck life. Fuck Supre and the rest.
Fuck your "Live life to the fullest" shoulder tats.
Fuck you!
Thankyou, got that off my mind.
Not that the message is bad, but fuck, we get it.

Ok, I'm going to start loving life from now on.
I've turned into an angry old man.
I've lived and I've learnt.
Over and out.

Hi I'm Tom.

Nights never bring any rest for me lately.
When someone's vulnerable, weird things happen.
All this distracting does the job until I'm alone.
Awake, while everyone else sleeps.
The same feeling pulsates through my blood.
Life is tiring.
Sometimes I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.
Dreams are bizarre but they're never complicated.
My fish never sleep.
I'm watching them now.
I envy them.
I hope they do only have five second memories.
Imagine life if we all had five second memories.
Friends would become enemies by the time you finished blinking.
Then we'd truly live for the moment.
I live for the moment and its great until that moment is forever gone.
Then I start living in the past... until I get hurled into the future.
Yes five second memories.
Everyday you could fall in love again.
Getting over a bad mood or jealousy or guilt or even a soul... all you'd need is to take a lonely walk.
Five second memories would have their downfalls however.
Every morning you would wake up a stranger not only to your surroundings, family and friends...
A complete stranger to yourself.
At the moment, I wouldn't mind that.
Ok this sun hurts my eyes.

Jo Jo

That is all.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

We speak for those who cannot.

Apart from WWIII,
Christmas for me involved going to Melbourne as always.
I got an iPhone3GS which I was very lucky too,
also got given a bit of money.
With the money I managed to buy two singlets I liked,
one tie-dyed b/w for $20...
and the other one was amazing.
As soon as I saw it I was in love, so the fact I paid $80
for it surprisingly doesn't bother me.
Kiss-Chasey is a sick brand. Not band, not related.
John Lennon. 'War is over. (If you want it)'.
It's the print of the posters/billboards John and Yoko posted all around the world to help end the Vietnam War. ('The U.S VS John Lennon'- Watch it.)
The top half is an image of a muriel pave stone
with the word 'imagine' and flowers making a peace sign.
(Click the picture and zoom if you're really keen for details haha).
Point is. I love the phone. I love the singlet.
I love John Lennon.
I wish John were still here.
John would have my back.
I've found my Yoko and we're ready to rule the world, together.
All he was saying... is give peace a chance.

Now or Never.

I just thought I'd show you this, I watched a while ago and found it amazingly inspirational.
You can not watch this guy and not get shivers and a smile. We're the greatest.


It is late. So late it's early.
It is fate. So hurley Whirly.
You were great. Great wall of China.
I was bait. Your vagina.
I can't wait. Can't wait for Sunday.
I can date. Because it's Monday.
Complicate. Then Meditate.
Life is short. Appreciate.

Nitris Oxide.

Nearly all of my heroes and idols;
Dead or Alive,
smoked weed.
Doesn't mean I ever will.

Interpret that however you like, 
it was just something I realised today.

Monday, December 28, 2009

There is no fence to sit on.

"The writer, when he is also an artist... is someone who admits what others don't reveal."

I know you're all out to get me, to pick and bitch about all the nitty gritty aspects of the things I say.
I know you think my bigotry makes me look as though I cannot love anyone other than myself.
I know this isn't true.
I know I am a very nice being and will always put others before myself.
I know pain exists for a reason.
I know that this world is wrong.
You would too if you made that pivotal moment to turn around and walk against the crowd.
Think and walk to the beat inside you, not to the beating echo's of dead generations.
Just for those few seconds of walking backwards, you should realise that everyone is walking to a dead end with their eyes shut tight.
Save your legs, turn around and let's straighten ourselves back on the path of evolution.
Although you may not see it, perhaps never... 
I stand for love.
Nothing but love.
Love does not stand for hate.
It's black and white and I'm selling it like soap.
There are two alternatives.
Love or Hate.
Peace or War.
Life or Death.
Either you see something is wrong and do something about it,
Or you do nothing. 
In my eyes, you are no better than the man with red hands.
I learnt a valuable lesson in grade 5.
If you know someone's getting bullied and you do nothing, you are just as bad as the bully themselves.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

I see death people.

Your body is connected.
But not your eyes.
Your eyes cannot see.
For those who see as I see, our world is life.
But for those who are blind, it is death.

Friday, December 25, 2009


 "In their behavior toward creatures, all men are Nazis. Human beings see oppression vividly when they're the victims. Otherwise they victimize blindly and without a thought."

          Isaac Bashevis Singer, author, Nobel Prize 1978

Hope you all enjoyed your tortured kill on a plate on this phony day of love.
All I know is that you can't build any kind of spirituality on the misery of other beings.
What I liked most about the film Avatar was the natural equilibrium they had with their planet.
They were evolved far beyond the human race, although the humans were the ones with all the technological advancements, they were so far behind.
I know I'm talking science fiction here, but if you do your research you'll find that this is incredibly true.
Most of you will think I'm loony so I'm not going to delve into my knowledge on such aspects.
Basically we need to learn how to love, and this world would enter a higher dimension.
A much greater understanding of ourselves and the universe.
I'm sorry I be preaching my Vegetarian morals on you all, as I know how angry it makes me when I see Christians do it... thing is... if a man named Jesus Christ actually was here performing miracles and there was 1st person proof of him and his message then I would endorse it.
Animal cruelty is real.
It surrounds us, hidden most the time, but everywhere.
I just don't get why people can think it's ok?
If it were happening to them or their loved ones, or even the human population...
They wouldn't have a bar of it!
I always relate slaughterhouses to Jew camps but I'm going to say it again.
Humans are the Nazi's, animals are the Jews.
I like to compare Vegheads with Brad Pitt's character from Inglorious Bastards.
Just like the Germans feel disgustingly embarrassed for their ignorance and stupidity in what they did to the Jews, I hope the whole human race feels the same way about their treatment to animals one day.
Humans aren't the only species on the planet, they just act like it.
We're not superior to animals at all, they've earned just as much right to be here and to be free as us.
Just like us they feel pain. Some of them even have more sensitized nerve systems etc, the pain could be worse.
So while you allow your body to be a living grave, think about the torturous life your christmas roast had.
It was more than likely factory farmed, unless you killed your own chicken.
This involves procedures that to humans would be defined as "extreme torture".
 The bird had three toes chopped off and was 'debeaked', all without anesthetic of course.
De-beaking involves amputating the highly sensitive beak tissue with a hot blade, or pliers... and it causes life long pain and suffering. Both de-beaking are coined as 'necessary' so the birds will not peck an claw one another to death out of misery and frustration in the warehouses they 'live' until they reach the slaughterhouse.
Not to mention the other forms of torture we inflict on them, to list a few:
The intensive confinement crowds thousands of birds basically on top of one another, on their own shit, breathing in ammonia fumes caused by the shit, which causes ulcerated feet, destroyed lungs and eyes burned out by the fumes. Not to mention the emotional frustration and stress which causes insanity.
They're fed a nice diet of anti-biotics to keep them alive in their hell long enough to get them to slaughter, and growth hormones which make their bodies grow way to fast for their physical strength to keep up, many dying of heart-attacks.
Finally they are put out of their misery in the most humane way possible.
Yeah right. Having their throats slit and being stunned by electricity is humane.
In truth, the electricity razors through the birds eyes, eardrums and heart, causing unbearable pain, like they haven't already experienced enough.
Merry Fucking X.

Vegetarians live longer than meat-eaters. Have fewer diseases. Eat in peace.
We're just better people than you.
Vegans being greater.
Try Vegetarianism.
Peace :)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

All I want for Christmas...

Another body.
I want too much.
This heaven is hell.

Today I smelt every little detail I had tried to erase,
I was back in my perfect state of mind,
in a world of heaven,
in my head.
Strawberry bubbles and candlelit warmth.
When I finished inhaling,
I had just relived it all...
Frame by frame,
Each sense more cherished than ever.
I'd become so adapted and reliant,
What the fuck was I doing?
Everything changes, it always does.
I'm over changing that's all.
I was content.
I'm too worn out to climb back up,
I just feel like losing grip.


A bit of a diary entry here;
Last week and a bit has been hectic.
Seen and chilled and played with about everyone in the universe.
I haven't had enough alone time to get the simplest of tasks done, but I love it.
Drove marks car around last night, witnessed a guy get K.O'd and rumor has it he's dead.
It's fucking disgusting, testosterone at it's best.
Roi. A place for sluts, drugged meatheads and outdated fashion... strutting, shuffling and punching on floors stickier than the cum they still have dripping from their belly length dresses.
Fuck you.
Point is people like that sicken me.
No who am I kidding?!
They're fucking awesome, great entertainment.
Aliens must watch our world and laugh.
Anyway... I got home at like 3am and had a cyber music session, tried sleeping at 5am...
Failed woefully on several attempts to clear the music from my mind so I gave in and played guitar until now.
Not going to try and sleep, I'm too awake, going to buy Mum's (etc) Xmas prez.
Got no idea so please help!
Leave to go to melbourne at 3pm.
Tomorrow's Christmas and I get to see my beloved aunty Lendy ;)

Like Severus Snape...

I've made gold intentions and sacrifices that won't be realized until it's far to late change anything.
It only works if I die first, as soon as possible really.
Take that back, you'll see all in a flashback.
Come 5th dimension you'll see the life we could've had,
you'll take a deep breath through your nose as you bite your bottom lip.
Fuck eh?

Dear, Fire in my eyes...

I'm trying to blow you out. 
You're not trying to burn... 
Yet my minds still in flames. 
Is this oil or water? 
Or just one of your games?

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Positively negative.

To be positive, is too ignore all forms of negative.
It's hard to always be positive, when there is so much negativity;
when it takes effort in maintaining negative distractions.
Company kills negativity, if it doesn't then perhaps you need some better company.
Happiness is best when shared, I love that quote.
I can't ever really remember being positively thrilled whilst being alone...
But I think we all crave some alone time.
To reflect, to be sad, to get shown the comparison to being positively happy.


For the past week I've gone to bed when the sun comes up.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

420 limit can eat me alive.

How can you go to bed dead? Eat me alive. Of course its possible you american idiot. AWWWWWW SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT! dangeliciously vicious. FUCK TIME. no not sex time, fuck time... its shit. I just wannnnnna live (like good charlotte the spider). I believe in Holden Caulfield. stimpy, gimpy stampy, grampy. This is bowelllllllshitttttt. THIS IS BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLSHET. Will someone get this moth off my screen? Anyone? Noah? Richard Nixon? Nikon the Camera? I have a friend named jason and he wishes his dick was behind his ass so he could penetrate himself. I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE! WOOOOOOOAAAHHHH--AAHHHH--OHHH! He's nothing but a wife beater. That was no dance accident. Only Hitler himself could pull off a moustache like that. Pimp my room? Fuck my ride. Ride me. Fuck me. Lets fuck on a bike. Isshefilthy? OHHHH SHEEE FALTHY! I hate tanned girls. Shit-smeared back window. Love a pierced clit. Ummm I'll get that in gangsta size please... Yes 100XL. What the fuck does emancipate mean? I would love to use it in a sentence. You wanna say that again? SQUEEEEEJY. Christmas is all about the economy these days. What ever happened to Jesus? Oh yeah... he dead. Do kids ever wonder how old Santa is? Nothing lasts forever. What goes up... must come dowwwwwwwwwwn. Fuck that spikey haired poser emo cunt on pimp my ride/ like dude... you look like a porky pine that just got dumped by your girlfriend, and as for the tattoo's/// well. you used to be about the music. Now you're all about the band. Midget Ghandi ATTTACK!!!!! Fuck the tribal shit. Pimp my asshole you fatherfucker. OOOHH HELLLL NOOO! You're not cool unless you're wearing flares. I've always wanted to get raped by a gang of girls. Too bad there's no gangs around this part of town. This part of town. IM NOT REALLY A MAN. I'm a horse. I'm a broom. How is that even possible? Dyke power. UNITE! If only I had a vagina. Then what would the kids that picked on me in pre-school say? Aint so tough now aint you mamma...? The owls are coming. Dripping. Why the fuck would you want a pair of binoculars? Revolutionary. Let me see where you bleed from. Piss and Poo, is the the look of your car. BITCH. this aint pimped it PUNKD! 3:50. GET EM OUT GET EM ANGRY! I like to touch you. I really want to touch you. I don't enjoy white sheets. Crunchy beds scare me. Make me touch you, or else ima tooch you. That is a fine ass. He'd fuck her even if she did have a pet snake named Sally. Fuck emotion, limits. Fuck Supre. Off your chest. Mummy why are you so fat? Gel is so lame mate... unless we're rolling in it baby. ROLL ON ME BABY! 0n M3 BaBeeh. I'll have one original orange juice and a large quim juice explosion. EXPOLLLLLOOOOOOSSSSIOOOONNN BABY! Explode. Implode. Corrode. Shutdown. System is slowing. Eyes are fading. Starlight. Starbright. Its no full moon. So Goodnight.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Two years until it all ends.

Happy Birthday Jaxon.

Lou Bert.

I'm not going to lie... I fucking love you.
You make this world heaven for those brief seconds.
Fuck religions that persecute masturbation (that word is so foul), that shit should be worshipped.
Pure lifesaver, puts my brain back where it belongs.
Just being honest >.<
If you dislike this blog you are probably female and/or not being honest with yourself and should definitely get one up ya.
Orgasms rule.
Thinking I might get a shirt saying that haha.

Mothers know best.

My mum's opinions matter most to me... they're always so spot on.
This is just one of the many conclusions I came too in one of Jaxon and I's D+M sessions.
But seriously... my mum's opinion on the whole Tiger Woods scandal the other day was so good.
So against the normal opinion, but she has alot of life experience to back it up.
Also I think it's why I don't tell her my personal stuff because one of my biggest weaknesses is how impressionable I can be, I'll figure it out.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Saturday, December 19, 2009


Step into my shoes.

This summer for me is all about bare-feet.
Shoes are stupid.
I like the trashy feeling the natural skin brings.
Soon my feet will have hardened over so I'll be able to walk on glass... and water too.
Yesterday afternoon I walked past the bended elbow and everyone just stopped talking as I awkwardly scurried past.
Met up with a sexy gang of people, as I walked back past the Pub this guy, absolute meathead, has the nerve and complete ignorant rudeness to today's society's acceptance on just the concept of love in general, to say, loudly and proudly in front of a crowd of equal douchebags:

Meathead: Hey man.
Judd: yeah?
Meathead: You look like fucking faggot.
Judd: *doesn't think of a good comeback fast enough* Thanks :)

But seriously Albury... outdone yourself!
I just laugh.
Enjoy your mutt-ugly bimbo-sluts, matching UNIT wear and your fat disgusting appearance.

I'd rather be a faggot.


Friday, December 18, 2009

Side fringe is so 2007.

It goes off, the above is/was bed hair,
Never been more satisfied with my self cut ever.

Yesterday and todays events (not in order):
For once I did nothing today. Slept with Jaxon last night. Made a shirt yesterday, I'll debut it in my photoshoot with Row tomo. Went into Maccas in my undies last night. Mitch bought me some food. Swam in a pool. Loungeroommoshpit. Pretended to be possessed. Scared myself. Carols by Derolight. Human backpack. Cut my fringe. Bathed in JELLYBARF! (So amazing, worth your ten dollars!) Arrived at work late. Left work early. Dodged falling tree's. Ate the best noodles so far. Walked dean street barefoot (Shoes are so 2008) Recorded another song (its posted on my music myspace).

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

HSC Results.

80 for Music and Drama.
70 for Adv. English/Biology/Maths.

I expected between 50-60 due to the fact I seriously did not study.
My study was read some practice tests the night before, and make alot of music.

Should've gone better in Drama but my theory would've let me down heaps haha fuck it, at least I know I got 29/30 for trials monologue. Music was my highest mark... that surprised me as I thought I would've failed the Aural test, performances were ok-ish I guess... but I had glandular and could barely sing.
English... really should of actually read that book, because I just bullshitted my way through one essay.
Maths. Can't stand that shit so very surprised I even got that.
Biology... for my trial I got 27 haha so big improvement there. I guess I simply learned from my mistakes and the one past paper I did was identical to the real thing. However that was the exam where I answered EVERY extended study question... when we only had to do the one of the area we studied.

My message to anyone doing this unstressful nuisance in years to come.

Don't bother learning. Its not about how much you know, its about how how you score.
The questions are always the same generality so...
Don't waste years of learning in class and forgetting everything over such a long time scale.
Simply study past papers and buy the books with the answers and remember them, (I only did one past paper and it more than doubled my marks for both maths and bio).
Would cut out all the bullshit.
Some subjects that don't work.
Do subjects that you actually like and enjoy, not if you think you're good at them.
Oh and nothing is ever as serious as they make it out to be.
But fuck all that... who gives a shit just enjoy livin' the dream.

My music.

Still cannot think of a "band" name for my solo. Thinking. Help me! Suggest your favorite words! Wonderful words like "enchanted" and stuff, or little things that symbolize me eg. word "locks" lol. 

Added a heap of new tracks and songs I've been working on and some other old ones. Will be adding more tomo. Its just a pre music myspace. When I get my studio recorded track back I'll be turning my Myspace into a music profile.
But yeah... Check it out, listen to the lyrics, listen to me sing woefully at 4am at night and tell me thoughts. Thankyou :)

Locked and loved.

I swear I was meant to be born with two bodies.
One body just gets warn out.

Turned some tables.

Tonight driving down dean street in a super hype mode... saw a bunch a guys and was like
"fucking emo's!" and they like death pointed me so I slammed into a park, slammed the door and started pacing towards them yelling "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!?"
Right about here is where my impulsive behavior suddenly tapped me on the shoulder to tell me I wasn't dreaming.
Fuck. Lol.
But the best thing was... they were actually scared of me, some little faggot in skinny jeans.
Confidence is intimidating.
So ended up strolling up to them had a nice and awkward conversation... there were 7 of them, and only 1 talked, the rest I guessed were plain confused with what just happened.
I was. Walked back to my car, almost felt embarrassed but fuck it.

Only for the thrill.

Tomorrow I get my HSC results back apparently.
Don't really know how I'm meant to go about retrieving them?
So I was thinking.
I don't want to know what I got.
I actually do not care.

Scene I:
Judd walks into the office and sits down.
Interviewer asks what he got for his year 12 results.
Judd says he never bothered checking.

If the interview was looking for coolness and originality I think I'd win the job.
You stressed out little pieces of nerd shit.


I always think that you're just one person.
I like to think that you sometimes have arguments with yourself.
Oh and I like how you think I'm a celebrity haha befriend me?
Start a blog... called Anonymous.
You can be an opinionated local gossip reaper, with a whole lot of truth and lies.
Might be bigger than Sir. Shrinkey Dink's blog?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Racked out of your brain.

LOL today I had a "mini-snack-wrap" from maccas with no chicken and I didn't eat it until we got to the wodonga cotton-on... and I sat alone on a chair outside the store, in an overly large and badly cut singlet and short "challk-board" style board shorts and had my sunnies on too.
Anyway, now you've got a mental image... the cotton-on lady must have been on her break and she was walking back into the store. We've spoken a few times and I went to say Hi and she just looked at me like I had 3 arms and goes:

"Oh gee! are you alright!"

Meanwhile I've got my wrap spread out on my legs trying to decorate it with chips and BBQ sauce.
I laughed and said "oh yeah just trying to make my wrap" or something...
and she comes up to me and is like:
"oh my god what are you on!?
Are you ok? Your racked out of your brains.
Do you want me to call an ambulance?"

Just kept going! I'm in hysterics because I thought it was hilarious and I couldn't even tell if she was serious... she did not believe me when I said I'm ok... she was just like "I've been there before! Why on earth would you come down the street!? AND YOUR STILL IN YOUR PYJAMAS!"

ahhahahahahaha OUCH!

Anyway, she left to call the ambulance, I'd become drugged up on how funny it all was which didn't help... not to mention my mood was rather hyper to begin with.

So I got my wrap all sorted out (weird, doing it at maccas wouldve looked completely normal, however doing it on a rest seat in a plaza looked and felt hobo-like) and I head inside the store.
Alex was being served by her and I rock up and she goes:

"Is he with you!?" Alex nods. "Oh thank god"
She then mutters to other lady working "he's absolutely racked out of his brains!"
I'm pissing my self, Alex is confused as a nugg.

I then tried to tell her to stop judging me!
But I was laughing too hard to convince her I wasn't lovin the drugs.
At 1pm in the arvo...
King Straight Edge the XXX was off his shrub. (I guess seedy facial hair and a long nail does not help either)

What a joke but.
I'm just happy and hyper and like to disembody my wraps on public seats in seemingly odd clothes.

I wish I was gay.

There's alot lovely males out there that I don't quite understand why they are single.
I mentioned this on myspace before and the response was awesome haha.
Even scored myself a photoshoot :) Pumped.
Got given two movie tickets today from my work.
I'm taking Alex because she's cute.
I can't believe it but the AVATAR short actually looked amazing!
So I'm keen to see it. Fuck your typical 2012, New Moon, P.A.
Avatar will soon be on that list but I imagine.

Child Enchanted?

Monday, December 14, 2009

Your it!

Jack Wilby has a blog.
Chase him.

If I were any cooler...

I would reverse global warming.

Skinny Bitch

Megan gave me it to read today, I started reading it and after the first chapter I'm in love.
So expect to hear alot of quotes and facts over the coming weeks.
Let me give me my favorite snippets of chapter 1: Giving up.

You cannot keep eating the same shit and expect to get skinny. Or smoke.
So don't even try some pathetic excuse like, "But if I quit smoking, I'll gain weight." No one wants to hear it.
Cigarettes are for losers. They are so 1989 and totally uncool. Not only do they screw up your whole body chemistry, but they also kill your taste buds. It's no wonder you eat shit and garbage. Smoking's out give it up.

Then goes on to speak about alcohol, soda, diet soda, which freaked me out just a tad and finally caffeine:

"Don't talk to me until I've had my morning coffee." Uhm . . . Pathetic!
Coffee is for pussies. Think about how widely accepted it has become that people need coffee to wake up. You should not need anything to wake up. If you can't wake up without it, it's because you are either addicted to caffeine, sleep deprived, or a generally unhealthy slob.

Then lists a whole page of all the things caffeine causes and is linked/suspected to cause.

I can't wait to get to the section where they apparently diminish meat-eaters and the food industry.

Ashes to Ashes.

Scrape the icing.

Don't expect anything from anyone.
The second you have hope you have the possible (and most likely) outcome of failure.
Everyone will always be for themselves.
Everybody except me I often feel.
But I guess I'm just as guilty as the next.
I wish I belonged to a more advanced race of beings.
I don't care if I sound cocky... but
99.9% of you all are fucking retarded in my eyes.

Sorry to sound like a raging emo.

Stay Positive.

All I know is that I seem to be stuck and no matter how hard I try, I don’t seem to get anywhere. I'm just spinning my wheels in the mud and all I can feel is pure frustration.

This is the point where a lot of people will just say, “I Quit” and give up.

As Thomas Edison said, “Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up” and “Surprises and reverses can serve as an incentive for great accomplishment.”

The desired outcome.
What you wanted.
Stay Positive.
Think Positive.
Act positive.
Feel Positive.
To bad I'm positive it only works when mutual.

No idea

how fucking outraged and gobsmacked I am.
Frustration rules :|
I tried everything I could.
Someone please slap some sense into that beautiful face.
If its one thing I fucking hate its memories.
A knife in my fucking gut everywhere I look.
If I didn't have reason to hate nicotine before, I certainly do now.
Oh and cheers facebook for keeping me up to date!
Thought perhaps I may have got the chance to actually talk after all this time.
Mind: Shutdown.
Numb me people.
Don't leave me on my own,
seriously can't cope as well as I thought I could.


What the fuck is this?

I feared that I was just a name for you to call your own.
What do you do when it all breaks down?
What do you do?

Thanks Hayden.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Cheers God!

I have a 3D shadow and I love it :)
Playtime yet again!


You sell fish for a living.
Wake up and find yourself a new job that doesn't stink as much.

Saturday, December 12, 2009


I'm recording with McKenna Records tomorrow the first acoustic song I made.
To help prepare I made another recording of it at home...
Please give me feedback asap!
Only guitar and vocals... I might add claps/percussion and epic strings in aswell tomo.

Mirror of Memories.

There's nothing I want more than to be in your bed, staring at you in shock of how perfect everything was.
The very moment before we smiled and kissed, after I'd finally coughed up the courage to ask you to be mine.
If I could control time I would pause on that moment forever.
Where nothing mattered. Everthing was perfect.
Restart and live it all again.

Friday, December 11, 2009

The pointless and pathetic hardships.

No longer forward nor behind
I look in hope and fear.
But grateful take the good I find
The best of now and here.


Title: Getting the fuck over nothing has become something.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Wrong words seem to rhyme.

Felt too cool NOT to wear nerd glasses.
Lol saw my dad in the plaza yesterday and I was wearing them haha.
What a champ, I may even dedicate a blog to tell you more about him haha.

Exchange student.

Last night was amazing, let me tell you why:

Joe: Oh I know who you remind me of!
Judd: Who?
Joe: That guy off Mighty Boosh! Vince!
Judd: *Goes giddy*

Christmas cards :)

Love my best-friends, that compete for my best-friendship, Liam and Katy.
You both rule, made my day.
Oh and thanks for the wizz fizz, candy canes are overrated.


This guy is an incredible artist/originalist.
Check out some more of his stuff here:

Modern day Where's Waldo.

Bon Voyage.


Send more than a search team.
I'm more than lost.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I live by this quote.

''To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction" -Sir Isaac Newton.

Works on so many levels and aspects of life.
Basically... Everything you do has an effect of somewhat.
So act, do and think wisely.
Physics just got emotional.


I love people who can think extensively, out-of-the-square, rationally and make judgements accordingly in the name of love.
I hate ignorance.
I think that's the only thing I really hate.
If no-one was ignorant and people thought whole-heartedly not just about them but others and everyone, this world would be a kick ass place.

Also can I just say... Thankyou to those who actually give my blog the time of day.
I know i've become a little over the top lately.
Too much time on my hands and too many thoughts.
It's my diary aswell as an outlet to my thoughts, warnings and insights.
I write these for myself and for others to read and think.
Now that YNASNAB is over I'm not scared to say...
My blog is art to me.
I will enjoy reading back on these years to come.

I've got a secret.



Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Eclipsed Collision.

29 years today.

If only you were still with us.

Born to fly, not bred to die.

New Chelsea Lyrics.

These walls are caving in on me.
Won't someone please help me break free?
I haven't felt the sunlight for so long.
When I do I'll be too far gone.
I was born to fly, not bred to die.
Can't you see this is not alright?
I wasn't born to fly, I was bred to die
All this pain for your taste buds.
My life never meant shit to anyone. No-one.
I hope I taste good.
My mouth just tastes like blood.
I hope I smell good.
Like Rotting flesh.
I'm not looking back.
I'd rather be dead.
A knife slits my throat,
as it dangles from my head.
Maggot filled carcasses lie beneath my feet,
What God would torture us, and serve us up to eat?
Why are all so blind?
Fuck this. This filthy race.
I would never be apart of this.
Fuck carnivores evolve.
You are the reason this filth still exists.
The worst is over now.
My world is over now.
You've set me free, now let me fly.
By your grace let me fly away.
Far from this cruel world.
Fly away from yesterday.

Slaughterhouses with glass walls.

The new chelsea song is written from the perspective of a chicken that's only lived within a cage.
While my mind is on the appalling topic watch this new video.
Too bad Lennon ain't still around... but McCartney will do.


I couldn't ask for better friends.
P.s I've found another best friend :)
and become better friends with a heap of others.
I'm going to fake my death, because apparently the only time all your friends will be together under one roof is your funeral.
But then I'll burst out of the coffin and will have arrived in heaven.
My life is and will continue to be a constant weekend for a while.
Oh how content I am with that thought.


Ma' main men got together today and recorded a new demo at my house.
ChelseaWontJump band practice tonight and also tomorrow night.
We have a gig on Saturday in Benalla and we're headlining.
New songs debut. Get down it will go down like titanic.
I swear on my soul I will allow all evil inside of me,
to throw my self around stage like never before.
So much ventilation.
Cannot wait.

Fantasy Landscape

Is where I want to be.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Hammer hits nail. Nail shatters objective.

My dream is to become lucid.

I'm going to start trying to record what I can remember of my dreams.
Your more than welcome to stalk it, but if I find my dreams are too personal or something I may have to privatize it.
Lucidity, who needs drugs when you can sleep.

I didn't ask for Theatrical Matrix to change the script.

Climbed the wall of death tonight.
This time I bought some friends.
Luis came up with me while Hannah and Alex chilled like ants in cordial.
Jumped down from halfway and rolled all the way down the bark hill, not good for the sunburn lol, but accidently looked and felt cool. We then almost jumped on a train to Sydney. One day.
Ceri lent me Mighty Boosh Dvd's to satisfy my urges for Noel. Mmm.
Thankyou Ceri I love you.
Then we apple tv'd youtube video's before basically falling asleep on the couch.
Thought I best leave and somehow didn't fall asleep whilst driving home.
Now I'm awake again however.
But I'm still dreaming.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Praise :)

Had to go out to Jindera this morning to coach.
It was heaps of fun, I love being the only Coach.
Some of these kids i've known for a year and half now, and I've got such a great thing going on with them.
Its good, because although I'm Mr. Do what I tell you to do, at training, I've become such good friends with them all, I'm their mentor, coach, psychologist even sometimes haha but most importantly their friend :) Hell! They even call me 'Uncle Judd'?! I always try to make it fun for them as I personally think enjoyment is the key to success. I was a great swimmer sure, but I lost enjoyment from it and quit. But yeh, I do rather enjoy my job. I love how the kids love me, as annoying as they can all be, and the parents too :)
It was really great today though, I had kids hangin off me left right center... literally at stages.
Our club killed the point tally too.
LOL and I just got a text from the club president:
"Juddy, Bryan* can stay in Thailand, who needs him when we have you. Thanks for everything today. It's obvious why all the kids love you, us parents reckon you're alright too. From a grateful president."
Aww :):):) how cute.
Also after the meet I organized a game of waterpolo with all the kids and some parents too, it was fun but I got way too sunburnt!
I'm now red as my Ute... and my Uke.
*Bryan is the head coach fyi.

I think Edward Cullen should be played by Noel Fielding.

Yesterday: Went saw Mark and Stella, then went got Gabriel and Alex and we went for a rad bush drive and somehow didn't get bogged, taught G how to drive haha then we went met up with Maddison and went got Noodles and then tickets for 'Where the wild things are'. Kate and Grace met up with us too. The movie was rather odd in my opinion, I was the only jerk not to cry... didn't even know it was meant to be a sad moment, next thing i'm wiping tears off Alex's face.
But G loved it so I guess I do too haha. Then everyone left so Alex and I were like... sickkkkk. What to do?
So went to Maccas, then went back to waterworks and she took bloody mary for a spin.
Went to the hospital after that. No she didn't crash surprisingly, just visiting my mother.
Then to Jaxons. Then he came with us to Monument, the moon was crazy, oval shaped and cheese yellow.
Pulled the acoustic out for a bit. Then busted a couple banging in a car, I thought the guy was gonna bash me as he was death-staring me, so we legged.
There was NOTHING on party wise so went back to mine and chilled out.
Alex reminded me the beauty of Noel Fielding and Russel Brand, 'big fat quiz of the year' ftw.
Youtube it: (wouldn't mind that cape lol)
I would turn gay for Noel.

He talks crackers and makes me feel all giddy. ;)
Ahh, keep talking Noel... your voice is remedial.

Times like these

that we forget about our pathetic little issues and learn love. 

Poor Farrell :(
Never rest in peace, you're too insanely rad for rest.

I hope it's good wherever you are now.
You'll be missed by everyone who ever knew you, or even saw you play a show.
I'd like to meet someone who didn't like you.

Everyone is gonna miss you dude. 


Saturday, December 5, 2009

I subconsciously tried to warn myself.

'A prophecy' came true, I should have seen it coming.

Simon says...

He doesn't have time for me this week.
Dang. Hmm.
I like having guitar as a hobby.
I feel sorry for people who never really gave music a crack.
It levels me. Finished a new song the other day, also wrote one this early morning.
Both uploaded to youtube. Metube?

I'm allergic to oxygen.

The skies fall and the weight is pressed upon me.
Unlike a blanket it's cold under here.
Suffocating in darkness.
My mind is not where it should be.
Nor my body nor my heart.
Get out of my bed and out of my head.
She's dressed to kill, 
she wants me dead.
These wings were a trap.
All the breath I wasted, flying high.
Lets the rain push me from the sky,
cleanse us all while we fall.
The loved, the lost, the dying, them all.
I've never been so unsure.
The words unspoken shed no light,
to an explorer who has lost his sight.
With little time, and little space,
He's gone missing without a trace.
The lack of air shows a lack of care,
I'm left here ripping out my hair.
Tonight I started to smell the past.
My senses may return at last.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

What you see, is what you'll get.

Buying an iPhone tonight. 32gb White 3GS.
Trying to attain myself the perfect honda crx asap.
Then really all I need and want is a sick house, and all the technological essentials to within it.
Oh and and SLR would go alright so I could take cool pics of all my prized possessions.
Oh and tattoo's, seriously... for me I'm too much of a perfectionist to figure out what I want.
I've recently got a couple of idea's for chest script, but i want colours and symmetry surrounding it and I want something original, wings seems a tad overused. Fucked if I'm ever going to think of enough idea's to cover the amount of skin I hope to soon/one day cover.
Oh and I want to jump from an aeroplane, preferably in a wing suit.
If I can at least do that i'll be fine with death.

Hmm. Second thought. The more I get, the more I want more.
I will never be materialistically satisfied.
I will be happy, but never 100% satisfied.
There is always more out there.



Get on your knees.


I've got this visualization in my head of who and where I want to be as soon as possible.
I've become obsessed with fulfilling this.
I couldn't even sleep last night because I felt like I was wasting time, though I know It's going to be a semi-long process. This time next year would be great to have achieved this.
I'm not telling you because its embarrassing to tell people stuff like that? Don't know why but it is.
Ok. I've got to remember everything else in my life, not get too focused.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

HELP. Is this a haunting of some sort?

Yo. Last night Jordyn and I were just being idiots making funny video's, but after we watched them back we both got rather frightened by a reflection of a girl.

First Video: Just us being funny.

Second Video: First ten seconds in the reflection of the container I hold up... See it!?

Third Video: Tried to recreate it, figure out what it could've been.

We're baffled.
Slightly freaked out.
There was NO-ONE in that end of the house when we were recording the video.
My mum and Edwina were up the other end sleeping, and it's too chubby for them anyway.
I ended up having to wake my mum up, that's how scared we were lol, she was just as freaked out as us.
We tried to prove it was just a reflection from the tv, but failed time and time again.


Haha fuck, take back everything bad I ever said about Facebook.
Lol apparently I was "Partyoz Albury"s 500th friend, and there was this big hype as to who would win and then I just stumbled upon accidently and WHAMMO!
I just rang them up and I get the new ministry of sound cd.
I'm gonna pump that bass through my new pimpin' ride hopefully haha.

I get obsessed to easy.

Tomorrow I'm going to convince my mum, to convince me (with her re-paying funding help) to buy this car.
Seriously, it's just so sexy. Who cares its only got 2 seats. It's just like a mini sexy ute.
If I need more seats, i can just take my mum's car, or Edwina should hopefully have a car soon enough and I'm sure she wouldn't mind driving this whilst I borrowed hers her something.
Help convince me to buy it. Or not to buy it.
It's $7,800, Honda CRX Del Sol 1993, in Melbourne.

Looks rad.
Targa top convertible.
Power steering/windows/mirrors.
Ex-showmodel car.
Sick Sound system potential.
500km on small tank, fuel efficient.
Only in Melbourne.
I'm sick of wasting money on the Doom ute.
(However could sell it for $2-3k)
I presume I could re-sell this car for a reasonable amount.
In my opinion, its not over-done and/or dero looking, and not too gay looking.

Only two seats.
Not much space for shit in front (but plenty in boot).
I'll have to get the hang of manual, although that excites me.

Please do give your opinion.
Fuck. It's 5am.
But yeh... I want a car that's rad, and me and reliable and convenient.

Also, wouldn't mind getting a better front body kit happening, not too sure on the curve.

If not this, the 1990 model, when done up looks pretty dang, and has a tiny squishy back seat.
But that shits rare on Aus net.

Feedback please.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Worship Thyself.

Worship your inner God. Battle your inner tyrant.
As a race we're following the path of the prophecies we make.
This world is controlled by other beings far more spiritually evolved than us.
We can change our future for the better, if we just learn love.
I'm keen to enter the fourth density of dimensional living.
Earth is long ready. So lets cut the crap.
Wake up to your own existence... our abilities are far beyond our dreams.
Stand as one united race of beings, and love.
Love conquers all.
United we stand, divided we fall.
I'm sick of falling. We've been falling over the same stone, over and over again.
How many times can history repeat itself to make us feel the urgency for change?
We haven't got long. Before we kiss freedom goodbye.
Forget everything you ever learnt about history.
it's all been tampered with, altered by time travellers to help manipulate our future.
The future is never set in stone, it doesn't exist.
The present is where you are.
Break down the barriers about what you thought existed, and what you thought was impossible.
It's all out there. Right under your nose.
They can never take our free-will.
Not if you stay true to yourself.
Do you know what you are?
You have no idea.
You don't even know who you are.
You don't know where you came from?
Our race.
They told you we originated on Earth did they?
Everything they ever told you was a lie.
We are so far from the truth, we are even missing an eye.
Spirituality has been tortured by religions.
Find yourself.
Be yourself.
Open your mind and hope to fucking fate they save us,
the pure.
Nothing but a conscious swirl of energy.
Nothing but love.                        

Jesus only exists because people believe in him.
Fuck Jesus. No superiority. No inferiority.
We are all one, all Gods of our own.
You create what you believe.
I believe in love.


Monday, November 30, 2009


These things know me better than I do.

Tofu rules.

I've got nothing to say.
I'm not happy, not sad... just living.
Trying to get back to my happy self.
So there you go... I do have something to say.
Wait there's more:
Cootamundra was good, it was a good change, good drive.
For work. Was good though, I was the only coach and I liked it.
The kids forced me to show them a backflip after the swim meet,
the front flip however didn't go so well haha.

Saturday, November 28, 2009


I put a uke I bought up on ebay today finally... one of my to-do's,
and someone's already bidded $100 !!! I thought it would be hard to sell.
What else can I sell?
My soul?
My morals?
My dreadlocks?

The hour before sunrise...

The brims of the skies turn a mixture of blue's and green's, woven into a fading black.
I made myself a to-do list yesterday and wrote it up on my wall and gave myself a two week limit to do them all.
Did two today, eight to go.
Mark came over after work today and we chilled and went down town and stumbled upon Stefan, Maddi and Kate, we chilled some more, went back to mine, went back to albury to pick up Alex, went back home and chilled out major. Stefan and Mark left and Jordyn came. Alex and I had a music sesh, and she made me insecure about playing musical instruments because of how much she kills the piano.
I gave her my bio bible and we also decided we're the boy/girl version of each other.
Just dropped them back home.
It's 5am. Fuck that.
Tomorrow I have to travel frickin' three hours to Cootamundra all alone :(
Stay the night somewhere and wake up early to coach kids at swim meet and drive back.
So it might do me some good.
I'll take my guitar and finish all these songs I've started.
I doubt there will be internet so your welcome to text me.
I'm over my anti-cyber-rehab nonsense.
Silence just makes me over-think.
I want chest tattoo's badly, lots of colour, fantasy and meaning... help.
I've gotten so close to a heap of people lately it's been great...
but I just miss Madison :(

Friday, November 27, 2009

Up your arsenal!

I win.

16 and pregnant.

That MTV show is disgusting.
Propaganda against population growth perhaps because it certainly turned me off from ever wanting kids.
Abortions FTW.

I'm becoming a Wiccan.

If I knew everything I did now, and had the opportunity to rewind to this time last year I would happily take it. Any more than a year would be a drag.
Imagine how much confidence you would have in re-doing the things you previously were unsure of.
It would speed things up a hell of alot too.
I think i would speed run 6 months into about 2 months.
Except for school and stuff which you can't speed up, I would however JUST practice past exams, well hang on, i'd already have in memory my essays i wrote and the questions and stuff.
Oh it would be fun.
Be like watching a favorite movie over again, with bonus scenes.
Although doing things differently would create a different future, and new issues would arise...
I would still take it.
Rewind to the hottest day of summer when we got to Wagga and played with The Bride, floated down the river please.
Maybe I should memorize a winning lottery number just incase I ever encounter such an opportunity.
Woah and you could like beat a famous artist and record one of their songs before they do.
I would probably take advantage of you all.

(read comment)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Girls do what they want...

Boys do what they can.

Earth is crying.

Wash us all clean.

If you need me

I'll be in my room.
I'm banning myself from the "world" for a few days.
No myspace, facebook, phone.
I will however write the odd blog.
So if you need me desperately (which i doubt in a million years)
and you can't come see me in my room,
You can contact me through here.
Work is an exception unfortunately.
I've become an addict, and I need rehab.
See you all soon hopefully.