Monday, November 30, 2009

Aries.

These things know me better than I do.

http://www.cybercity-online.net/hussn/html/all_about_aries.html

Tofu rules.

I've got nothing to say.
I'm not happy, not sad... just living.
Trying to get back to my happy self.
So there you go... I do have something to say.
Wait there's more:
Cootamundra was good, it was a good change, good drive.
For work. Was good though, I was the only coach and I liked it.
The kids forced me to show them a backflip after the swim meet,
the front flip however didn't go so well haha.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

$$$

I put a uke I bought up on ebay today finally... one of my to-do's,
and someone's already bidded $100 !!! I thought it would be hard to sell.
What else can I sell?
My soul?
My morals?
My dreadlocks?

The hour before sunrise...

The brims of the skies turn a mixture of blue's and green's, woven into a fading black.
I made myself a to-do list yesterday and wrote it up on my wall and gave myself a two week limit to do them all.
Did two today, eight to go.
Mark came over after work today and we chilled and went down town and stumbled upon Stefan, Maddi and Kate, we chilled some more, went back to mine, went back to albury to pick up Alex, went back home and chilled out major. Stefan and Mark left and Jordyn came. Alex and I had a music sesh, and she made me insecure about playing musical instruments because of how much she kills the piano.
I gave her my bio bible and we also decided we're the boy/girl version of each other.
Just dropped them back home.
It's 5am. Fuck that.
Tomorrow I have to travel frickin' three hours to Cootamundra all alone :(
Stay the night somewhere and wake up early to coach kids at swim meet and drive back.
So it might do me some good.
I'll take my guitar and finish all these songs I've started.
I doubt there will be internet so your welcome to text me.
I'm over my anti-cyber-rehab nonsense.
Silence just makes me over-think.
I want chest tattoo's badly, lots of colour, fantasy and meaning... help.
I've gotten so close to a heap of people lately it's been great...
but I just miss Madison :(

Friday, November 27, 2009

Up your arsenal!

FUCK YOU DR. NEFARIOUS !
I win.

16 and pregnant.

That MTV show is disgusting.
Propaganda against population growth perhaps because it certainly turned me off from ever wanting kids.
Abortions FTW.

I'm becoming a Wiccan.

If I knew everything I did now, and had the opportunity to rewind to this time last year I would happily take it. Any more than a year would be a drag.
Imagine how much confidence you would have in re-doing the things you previously were unsure of.
It would speed things up a hell of alot too.
I think i would speed run 6 months into about 2 months.
Except for school and stuff which you can't speed up, I would however JUST practice past exams, well hang on, i'd already have in memory my essays i wrote and the questions and stuff.
Oh it would be fun.
Be like watching a favorite movie over again, with bonus scenes.
Although doing things differently would create a different future, and new issues would arise...
I would still take it.
Rewind to the hottest day of summer when we got to Wagga and played with The Bride, floated down the river please.
Maybe I should memorize a winning lottery number just incase I ever encounter such an opportunity.
Woah and you could like beat a famous artist and record one of their songs before they do.
I would probably take advantage of you all.

(read comment)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Girls do what they want...

Boys do what they can.

Earth is crying.

Wash us all clean.

If you need me

I'll be in my room.
I'm banning myself from the "world" for a few days.
No myspace, facebook, phone.
I will however write the odd blog.
So if you need me desperately (which i doubt in a million years)
and you can't come see me in my room,
You can contact me through here.
Work is an exception unfortunately.
I've become an addict, and I need rehab.
See you all soon hopefully.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Not the American Average.

Playlist back up.
I can't get enough of this band.
Punch a hole through your wall... GET ROWDY!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Fireworks.

You make me want to come forward and tell everyone just what is up, because I know they'll take my side.
But I'm way too considerate to do that to you.
Keep it up however and i'll prove it to you.
Regardless of all this I'm still here. Well in my head, but here... waiting.
I know I have it in me to forgive and forget, but I'm over being a pushover; (edit: ok so im not)
So please let me know when you come back.

Maybe you'll find me there.

Woody was down from the dandz and while his lovely Bianca was at work we had some sweet bromance and came up with this song. THIS IS A REALLY CRAP PREVIEW OF WHAT THE RECORDED VERSION SOUNDS LIKE! but we didn't get finished so we thought we'd just show you the first verse and half of the chorus. p.s woody hit the most amazing harmony in the recording OHMYLORDY it made me gazz.



We didn't nail the harmony unfortunately in this, but just you wait hahaha.

:D

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
That made my day. hahahahahahahahahahah
Oh boy that is SO good.
BRING ON THE MIND FUCK GAMES!
haha how pathetic, hilariously pathetic.
Its times like these I thank myself for researching a way for everything.
What an absolute joke.

Run Ditch! RUUUNN!

I wish my fear of schoolies, last year in that terrible time of my life, hadn't scarred me stubbornly against going.

Why should there be a care in the world?

Sunday, November 22, 2009

All in my head.



................................................................
..........................................................................
.....................................................................................
.................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................
.........................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
.............................................................................................................
....................................................................................................
.............................................................................................
.....................................................................................
..............................................................................
...................................................................
...........................................................
...................................................
........................................
.............................
...................
...........
.....
..
If you're not real...
Then who was it that loved me?

I know it was real.
All in my heart.

Lyrics

Never made so much sense.

True self image.

It's 8.20 am and I just got home from Madi's party, Sophie and myself got kicked out awkwardly at 5 am haha and continued our conversation in the car for another 3 hours, after this blog... sleep all day.
Its really great having someone like her to talk to. Well anyone to talk to.
The more you verbalize things, you analyze, realize and conclude.
You only need for them to listen, because no-one is going to talk to themselves,
but when you obtain their reactions, observations and opinions it really helps you to see the whole picture.
Overall deep conversations are great because they are filled with honesty and zero judgements, only observations, which help you understand yourself and others.
We live and we learn.
I've been down this path one too many times.

Self observation made, with Sophie's help:
I am protective over my image.
I know who I am, and I don't want others to perceive me otherwise.
I stand for some big things and if my image is ruined, so is the perception of what I stand for.
I know I do everything to help others over myself, whether they see it or not... yet.
I strive to be the nicest possible person possible. To bring happiness to this world.

In conclusion, I don't appreciate all the mind-fucks and games people play for the wrong reasons.
I am a mind fucker, but with a good moral purpose.
I don't like people allowing my image, my true image, to be threatened with lying suggestions and bitchy intensions.

My image represents my true self, my inner self... not just my physical.
Just because you're image is fake and at standstill, gives you no right to try and ruin mine;
Sacrifice mine to promote yours.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Cut my hair some.

The Countdown.

Fuck games. You crack it and you're left with nothing. 
I'm only shielding you, and its killing me.  
I'm sick to death of metaphors.   
*filtered*

Believe me I'm lying.

Stole the words from my mouth.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Boy does this make me feel tough!
















I heart youneedashrinknotablog.blogspot.com

Is it just I need a shrink?

But Avril Lavigne is a philosopher. She's my shrink.

Minus sk8er boi and the blonde bimbo songs of late.

E=MC²

I hate predictability, but that definitely didn't go to plan like I'd hoped.

Liquidate.

I feel sick to my stomach. Mind rather. People are making me feel terrible about not only myself but others. I don't trust anyone for honesty anymore, every things just so warped, I really hope I'm not made out to look the fool, again. There is just way too much stress overload. I feel as though stress is a liquid that swirls around my head, and I visualize a needle being shot through my temple and the pressure will just ooze on out.  I think I'm going crazy. At least work makes me trick myself into being a so-nice-it's-sickening, happy chap . Seriously, there is something in the bigger picture going on that is trying to change things for me. Make me realize something perhaps. I can see two endings for everything. I just want to hurry up and find out the truth and I need to release this weight off my chest that keeps suffocating me, but its never the fucking right time. There is no right time.
I'm sorry to everyone if I've come across as... I don't even know. I'm really not myself however.
I swear I've done nothing wrong to deserve all this. I even helped a man, on my own accord, put his wheel chair in his car, giving karma one last shot.
In my work break tomorrow. If I don't type all this nonsense out, get it out of me then I'm too far gone.
One more chance. I wish I was brave enough to verbalize it.
Man seriously I don't know why I'm so weak.


The title 'liquidate' was given to me, I spoke the word in my head an wrote it down, I actually had no idea what it meant, I just looked it up and it is this blog through and through. Seriously there is someone in my head, and their presence is making me uneasy.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Christianity sacrificed its sense of humor!


Funniest thing i've seen in a while... yet every motherfucker god moocher commented this video with "when was I meant to laugh?" and "thats not funny?".
Man send me to hell and call me cindy... I'd rather the miracle of laughter.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Suppressions. Explosions.

My diary won't open...
and I hate having to explode the locks,
because I don't want to risk burning it.

Monday, November 16, 2009

People

I'm embarrassed to call myself a human.
What a disgusting race of creatures.
Selfish, nasty people.
Treat one another like absolute shit,
and treat everything else around them like shit too.
We find it so hard to be nice, to put a smile on others faces.
It's way too easy for someone to humiliate and make one feel like killing themselves.
We're a species that can't handle change.
We're too lazy to adapt for everyones benefit.
Im seriously over everyone.
Im sick of sugar coating this world... my life.
In this state of mind these nasty people put me in...
Makes me not care for anything,
and this nastiness becomes fucking contagious.
I don't want to be a part of the disease.
Fuck anyone who ever purposely caused hell for someone, for their own entertainment.
Sadly, that is almost everyone, myself included.
I give up. You win.
I feel like shit. Happy?
But somehow deep down I know that you're the fucking worthless piece of shit... Not me.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

All you need is love.

Jordyn and I once performed this randomly in dean st... Its her Birthday... So this ones for you beetle juice.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Facebook- a plaece to gat chik





HAHA ok so Sam and Hayden told me about this girl, that she just never shuts the fuck up, with constant "hey sup" 's etc... you know the type of people, and the bastards added her on my account.

We're now pretty much best 'fridnes'.


Brooke Mcmahon why do you add me as a fridnes

Today at 23:11 ·  ·  · See Wall-to-Wall
Judd Ø Locks
Judd Ø Locks
because your such a babe
12 hours ago · Delete
Brooke Mcmahon
Brooke Mcmahon
do you like me
2 hours ago · Delete
Judd Ø Locks
Judd Ø Locks
I think its still in the early stages
44 minutes ago · Delete


Brooke
hi
why are you add me as a fridens ?
why do you add me as a frinden ?
12:26Judd
friend*
hey
i didn't know i was going to get interrogated!
12:27Brooke
wo
who
12:28Judd
by you?
12:28Brooke
ok
12:28Judd
haha what?
im so confused
i don't know why i added you it just suggested you? so i did
12:29Brooke
ok
you not like as a frinden
?
12:30Judd
why can't you spell friend?
12:30Brooke
i can be your fridens
do you have msn
?
12:32Judd
whats msn?
i have myspace
12:32Brooke
i have msn and myspace
12:32Judd
really! damn
you're a busy gal
12:33Brooke
ok
12:34Brooke
do you go to school
12:34Judd
finished school forever yesterday
what about you brookey babe?
12:37Brooke
i not go to school Becaues so Girls are bithe
12:38Judd
bitches?
12:38Brooke
and so boy to
12:38Judd
you got bitch stitches?
and boys are too!
dayum
12:38Brooke
yes
12:38Judd
pretty nasty place your from! where are you from?
12:39Brooke
i no
12:40Judd
brooke i think i love you
but i have a gf :S
12:41Brooke
wat do you have 5 gf
12:41Judd
i wish i had 5
12:41Brooke
oh ok
12:41Judd
i got 1
12:41Brooke
ok
12:42Judd
yeh lifes unfair
12:42Brooke
ok
12:42Judd
she's dev. your not ok are you?
12:43Brooke
ok
do you like my profile
?
12:44Judd
its amazing!
12:44Brooke
cool
12:44Judd
so similar to everyone else's but you've just got the best stuff on it
have you got a bf?
12:45Brooke
yes i do have a bf sorry
12:45Judd
FUCK!
thats gay
i was hopin for some sick gobbiez haha
12:46Brooke
ok
i am sorry
12:46Judd
you'd be amazing at them wouldnt you?
a bit of sex wizz!? haha im jealous of your bf
12:47Brooke
i no
12:47Judd
have you ever done anal?
i want to buy my gf a strap on so i can try it, whats it like
?
12:48Brooke
have you see me
12:49Judd
on redtube?
12:49Brooke
?
12:49Judd
yes
12:49Brooke
do you like it
12:49Judd
i wank over the shit everyday
12:50Brooke
cool have fun lol
do you went me to go
12:51Judd
no you can stay and play anytime
12:51Brooke
ok
12:51Judd
you love saying ok
ok
ok
ok
12:52Brooke
cool
12:52Judd
haha
hahahaha
ohhh geee wiz
12:52Brooke
you are so fun
12:52Judd
you're too much fun brooke!
i was JUST typing that
i didnt even read yours!
12:52Brooke
wat are you doing to day
12:53Judd
playing some guitar at the moment, gotta work later, then my gf comin to see me but i wish it was you instead
12:53Brooke
ok
do you love your gf
?
12:54Judd
i do but i get the feeling i could love you more
12:55Brooke
cool
if you not love your gf and not go out with she
sorry
if you not love your gf not be with she
12:56Judd
yeh i prob shouldnt go out with she when ive got such strong feelings for other she's
12:56Brooke
ok sorry
12:56Judd
no its ok brooke you're VERY wise
12:57Brooke
you are to
why your gf come over 4
12:58Judd
thanks brooke :)
oh you know probably just to give me gobbiez
12:58Brooke
it is oh ok
12:58Judd
hahaha
12:58Brooke
do you went my namber
12:59Judd
yeh give me it ill text ya
12:59Brooke
ok
0423966470
13:00Judd
sick i gotta run and get ready! nice talkin to you brooke!
ill send you a text saying its judd
13:00Brooke
are you optus
13:00Judd
yeh why not
13:00Brooke
cool
13:00Judd
gtg hot stuff
xxx
13:01Brooke
i am go swimming in my pool
to day
13:01Judd
naked?
13:01Brooke
and you can come over 1 day if you like to
13:02Judd
oooh sounds nice :)
anyway i gotta go! GOODBYE!
13:02Brooke
bye talk me plz
?
13:03Judd
of course :)
bye
13:03Brooke
bye
i tatx you back
?
why do you have to go
4