Thursday, November 19, 2009


I feel sick to my stomach. Mind rather. People are making me feel terrible about not only myself but others. I don't trust anyone for honesty anymore, every things just so warped, I really hope I'm not made out to look the fool, again. There is just way too much stress overload. I feel as though stress is a liquid that swirls around my head, and I visualize a needle being shot through my temple and the pressure will just ooze on out.  I think I'm going crazy. At least work makes me trick myself into being a so-nice-it's-sickening, happy chap . Seriously, there is something in the bigger picture going on that is trying to change things for me. Make me realize something perhaps. I can see two endings for everything. I just want to hurry up and find out the truth and I need to release this weight off my chest that keeps suffocating me, but its never the fucking right time. There is no right time.
I'm sorry to everyone if I've come across as... I don't even know. I'm really not myself however.
I swear I've done nothing wrong to deserve all this. I even helped a man, on my own accord, put his wheel chair in his car, giving karma one last shot.
In my work break tomorrow. If I don't type all this nonsense out, get it out of me then I'm too far gone.
One more chance. I wish I was brave enough to verbalize it.
Man seriously I don't know why I'm so weak.

The title 'liquidate' was given to me, I spoke the word in my head an wrote it down, I actually had no idea what it meant, I just looked it up and it is this blog through and through. Seriously there is someone in my head, and their presence is making me uneasy.

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