God is dead.

Is it just me?
Or has every person that you've ever heard preach Christianity, told you that they "Found God" when they were at their lowest point in life, addicted to drugs and alcohol?

Well, when "AUSLIFE" came to our school each year, every group leader X-tian douche, Male or Female had the same sodding story.
Well have you ever thought that maybe your brain got so fucked up during your downfall that its led you to believe the voices in your head are from God?
Well I do. Until i meet someone who can say they made the switch from normality, and it WASN'T because of a brainwashed upbringing, Drugs and Alcohol abuse or because the band you Idolize is a pack of these born-agains telling you how great Jesus is, then I don't see anyone's reasoning for believing in such bullshit.

On the topic of AUSLIFE, those who don't know what it is, it's a group of volunteers from local churches that are "cool and hip" and come get you out of school for a great day of fun and activities filled with learning. Yep it's all fun and games and then right at the end when you start to think...
You know, Christianity ain't so bad, they strike you with a great deal of preaching and guilt and explanations.
But they can never answer my questions.
I always seem to stump them short-tongued.
If God wanted me to become a Christian, don't you think he'd be able to persuade me?

Fired up.

Every smoker is a try-hard.
The only reason they ever started is because "smoking is fucking cool".
I mean what's not cool about fire and breathing out smoke?
Probably the fact you expose your lungs and mouth to the horrible gases and chemicals
that also cause yellow teeth and all that bullshit, but an addiction to an expensive ticket allowing you to skate over the thin ice of cancer.
Mind you you'll regret ever trying to fit in, or occupy your boredom when you're suffering under the effects of Chemo.
Ask a cancer patient on their death-bed if you should take a chance with cancer, do you think they'd want you to risk suffering what they've been through?
Do you ever stop mid-drag to think of the torture you might put loved ones through?
I love how every smoker is in denial of their addiction.
"I could quit if i wanted... easy. I just don't want to."
Well thats because it's not just physical, it's mental.
You need a smoke to relieve stress, when you wouldn't be stressed in the first place if you didn't smoke.
As a kid, I could never quite understand why they just didn't put a ban on smoking.
My mum always replied "Because many people would lose their jobs."
Fucking consumerism.
But i always hoped they would all lose their jobs regardless in 10 years time because people would wake up to themselves and quit.
One more pet hate: When you see people standing out the front of  Center-link, with a smoke wedged between each and every finger.

Don't let smoking take away anymore aspects of your life.

WTFWJD?

I like your Christ, just not your Christians, in this case your priests.
Forgive me father for I'm a fucking cunt?
What ever happened to "Forgive those who trespass against us"?
Watch this video! If this is the type of people running this shit...
Priest Vs Skaters


To be honest I'm not even going to throw in my opinions,
Our wavelengths can't be too far apart.
However, check my " LINK BE POSTED ASAP"... I posted a Christianity debate i just had on facebook.(It's a big read sorry)
Opinions?

Bold Statement.

I have come to accept that nothing actually exists.
That our subconcience mind is merely creating
what i know to be reality... present, doesn't exist anymore.
Everything is finished and our brains are still slaved to a pointless value of time.
All i know is I exist in some form.
Im the main character in my game... vaguely aware of my controller.
I've been aided with a false sense of choice and freedom,
And weighed down with emotions, opinions and other distractions.
None of us will ever win, and by the looks of our map...
No-one ever will.
Humans have lost touch of their spirits.
Start thinking ahead, we will rot in this third dimension.
We aren't Gods. We're an experiment.
They don't care for us, just like we don't care for animals.
Escape isn't easy, I believe it's Death.
You're entitled to your beliefs, but i believe fear of death,
Fear of the the unknown, the afterlife...
Is another anchor placed upon our consciousness.
Regardless who holds the controls,
You're all props to pave my destiny.
Ive given up on finding myself a categorisation. A genre.
There's 6,706,993,152 people and 4,200 Religions, and of that 10 major Religions.
Why do we need to classify ourselves into someone else's beliefs? Be creative.
Im making my own. You're not welcome to join.
Thats the point... get it?

Anywhere but here.

I hope Edwina realizes how lucky she is to be able to escape this monotonous living.
I wish I was in Tokyo.

I remember when I was in year 6 and I thought of a great plan to get rich.
It simply consisted of moving to Dubai, which is the richest country in the world, because of Oil.
Isn't it amazing. I love the man-made river below the monorails. Trump Hotel.

(Click on the picture, the big version is amazing.)

Fuck up day.

I hope the two buses collide and you all die.

School's out!

Last day officially of formal school today :)
I've been hard at it figuring/playing Imagine, by John Lennon on piano...
I'm getting my Gran's Piano sent down to me :)
I'm about to go celebrate with my bestest of school pals at Madi's...
I may or may not pop down street for half an hour to say hi, we'll see.
I'm bringing back the Flannelette:

Blind eyes.

1) What really grinds my gears is when people accept only half of their religion.

"Yes i know the world isn't 6000 years old, and that it's unlikely that man could separate a sea of water, but Jesus was real!"

Commit to the belief or accept the falseness of your God/Faith.

2) But possibly what grinds my gears greater, people who believe everything they are told.

3) One more, "n00b athiests" -Sure they annoy me a bit, but people with a high knowledge should stop trying to act superior towards them, they're a hell of a lot smarter simply by not believing instead of believing, so instead of hatin' lets embrace them and teach them :) just don't preach them!

Closing Chapter.

It's a strange feeling, and it's sent me very anti-social.
I'm sure if I tried I could replay each memory of everyday I've ever been here,
But at the moment, I've just got patches of grey, with little distinguishing dabs of colour.
Each room I walk into takes me back to a small patch of grey.
Each face I see takes me back to a moment shared, a dab of colour.
I'm not sure how I'm meant to feel.
I feel like I'm up to the last page of this book, and I seem to be reading with my eyes shut.
I'm tired and can't remember what I just read.
The only difference is, you can read a book again.

Thank goodness for Pepsi.

I haven't written here for a while simply because i've been too sick to do anything.
Went to the doctors because i had to get a consideration slip for my music hsc, 
turns out i may have glandular fever (a.k.a the kissing disease... so dont kiss me, or possibly madison because i just can't not kiss her :s sorry tippy ;)... Getting another blood test tomorrow :s)
Was pretty darn happy with my music performance anyway, cept it fookin hurt to scream and sing on the Chelsea song.
Went to Wangaratta later that day to go love wifey.
We both moaned in self-pity about how sick we were, went to a party, came home pretty soon feeling dang terrible.
Felt MEGA shit in the morning, body was aching but couldn't get up to get pills.
Wasn't a good morning at all.
We cheered up eventually and went to James's house to watch football grand final, then went to the gig.
It was metal as hell, in a bad make-up/cloaks/boots/black/long hair type of way. 
It was FREEZING. My toes were completely numb, i was being a douche and two-stepped a concrete corner, fucking hurt.
It numbed up due to the coldness just in time for me to go wild for Woody's band, portrait of disaster, who were fookin amazing, and then went to Madisons to warm up with Matt and Jaxon, then to maccas, then back to gig.
Dethroned were sick, as was the old-man-river that showed us the next generation of dancing.
Afterwards went to Cody's, i was feeling like crap and my face was bright red and burnt somehow.
I was grumpy. Skip to later.
Madison hopped into bed after consuming evil and as soon as she laid down she started twitching in her immediate sleep.
I was like righto, and was just talking to her/myself saying... where are you walking too silly? just bagging her out and then it got worse, and it occurred to me how fast she fell asleep, so i started trying to aggressively wake her up, didn't know what was going on, so i turned on the light getting a bit frantic by now, as she was unconscious and twitching all over and tried everything to wake her up, was sort of scared to run up to her parents room, looked for water to splash her face with or too drink but all i could find was pepsi, i wasn't going to splash her face with pepsi so, irrationally, I poured pepsi down her mouth, she started choking and sort of crying in her sleep, her heart rate was going wild and the she woke up hyper-ventilating and then started shrieking and crying in agony, so i scooped her up in my arms and started running her up to parents room but they must of heard her and met me halfway.
Poor bitch cried for two hours in the shit hospital waiting room.
What a dodge hospital. Asian Doctor had a sweet mustache though.
Didn't get any sleep until we both crashed in her bed.
Told my mum about it before and she was furious the hospital didn't even offer to give her an EEG, so got her to give madison the rundown on what to tell the local doc.
What a hectic weekend.
By the way, all Madison's headache's started after I thought it would be funny to scare her, and the clutz ended up jumping head back into my my door frame.
I'm sorry :(


So that's how my freakin-weeks been.

Anger is only one letter short of Danger.

Don't take your anger, swallow it up and spit it in someone's face.
Let it go.
Because it's only once you let it go that you're really over it.
A bursting bottle only creates destruction and more anger.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” - Buddha.

Im sick.

Stupid cold, nurofen's have kicked in though finally.
Just finished cutting my hair.
God it gets thick and long on the top,
i swear im always cutting it. 
Got it dyed the other day and i fucking hate it. 
So i've decided to NEVER go back to hairdressers again.
Also, that's my wall, thanks everyone who's added to it... 
Its blackboard paint.
Also got my lip pierced the other day, 
cant really see it in this photo but.

The most materialistic blog i will probably ever post.

So i have searched literally ALL day for the mic's i want to buy for recording...
I want the large diaphragm Mic for Vocals... and the Stereo-paired-Small-Diaphragm Mics for instruments etc... Mainly acoustic guitar. Should cost around $500 (ebay-style) instead of $1000 or so if i bought em at a store :)
I'm gonna lash out tomorrow.

It's a miracle! Yah-I-know.

Rap Schmap.

Wrote today; for a song I'm working on.

Still rough... A bit different; Feedback?

Wake up.

Struggle to find my way to the shower,

If i could have it my way I'd be there for an hour.

Dress up, in my prison-wear,

I'm late once again but I don't really care,

For this place or the people within,

Coz school just really ain't my thing,

I'd rather be running a muck out some place warm,

than trapped in these walls,

Watching everybody conform.

You think i don't have much of a life

in front of me.

Drop back to the pack is what you want me at,

and then you'd be happy coz I'm just like everyone else.

Fuck that!

I never wanna go back to school

and in two weeks time i won't ever have too.

Coz I'm to cool for school,

I don't have the disease

Where everyone falls down on their knees

to this unfair system of education

That completely killed all my motivation.

To put up with Jocks and Skanks,

Over-rated ranks.

To go to a University I'd hate.

You think i don't have much of a life

in front of me.

Just because i haven't made any solid plans,

and I scream for a hardcore band

it's something they don't quite understand,

but I don't mind because its just a part of who I am.

They think I'm crazy because i worry not just about me,

but all the wrongs in the world around me

that only i must see.

If it makes me happy just being me,

then why can't you all just let me be.

Go home.

Where I don't feel so alone.

Catch up with my friends who live just down the road

and do, whatever the hell we please

Half the time it's probably best no-one sees.

I love all of my friends,

even a few at school

that support my trends,

thanks guys you rule.

And to my fair-weathered friends,

that live to be wasted.

Trusting you is hard

When you've got two faces.

Break away from everything I used to hold so close.

Maybe as time has passed, I'll remember the good not the bad.

All the fun times that I had.

Because every time I tried you know I tried my best,

not just to please you but to please the rest,

but no matter how hard I try to be someone nice,

Everyone pairs their friendship with a price.

Is this because I'm just not cool enough?

Or hanging around me you won't look so tough,

I'm just a boy, skinny and tall.

Searching for some sense in this world, that's all.

I am my own piece of art.

My own experiment.
I want to share it, compare it and out-do it, to everyone else.
I want to reach my ambitions.
I want to do what I love and I want to make a living by it.
I dont want to live by just one love.
I want to be remembered.
I want people to proudly state they helped me create my prized artwork.
And I want others to lie that they did.

Have I met you before?

The Truth about Satanism.

This group has evolved into the most uncompromising and radical sect counting members by the thousands. Here's what they have to say for themselves:


Welcome to the official website of the Church of Satan. Founded on April 30, 1966 c.e. by Anton Szandor LaVey, we are the first above-ground organization in history openly dedicated to the acceptance of Man’s true nature—that of a carnal beast, living in a cosmos which is permeated and motivated by the Dark Force which we call Satan. Over the course of time, Man has called this Force by many names, and it has been reviled by those whose very nature causes them to be separate from this fountainhead of existence. They live in obsessive envy of we who exist by flowing naturally with the dread Prince of Darkness. It is for this reason that individuals who resonate with Satan have always been an alien elite, often outsiders in cultures whose masses pursue solace in an external deity. We Satanists are our own Gods, and we are the explorers of the Left-Hand Path. We do not bow down before the myths and fictions of the desiccated spiritual followers of the Right-Hand Path.

There are different sects of Satanism. Joy of Satan Ministries is Spiritual Satanism.

Satanism is not a "Christian invention."

Satanism predates Christianity and all other religions.

Satanism is not about spooks, goblins, vampires, Halloween monsters or other related entities.

Satanism is not about "evil."

Satanism is not a "reaction" to Christianity.

Satanism is not about death.

True Satanism is about elevating and empowering humanity, which was our True Creator (Satan's) intention.

We know Satan/Lucifer as a real being.

We know Satan to be the True Father and Creator God of humanity.

We know "Yaweh/Jehova" of the bible to be a fictitious entity, and the people behind coercing this lie, to be the true deceivers of humanity and the masters of lies. This is evident in the many contradictions within the Judeo/Christian Bible, revealing this text to be the work of human beings who had occult knowledge and infused it with power to make it credible, and to incite fear in order to control.

We are law abiding.

We DO NOT advocate or participate in any blood or living sacrifice. This act is Judeo/Christian, as stated in their Bible- Deuteronomy 12:27: "And thou shalt offer thy burnt offerings, the flesh and the blood, upon the altar of the LORD thy God: and the blood of thy sacrifices shall be poured out upon the altar of the LORD thy God, and thou shalt eat the flesh."

We have found Satanism is the original religion of humanity. We have done our research. Satanism is based upon the ancient religions that predated Judaism and Christianity from hundreds to thousands of years.

Christianity was a reaction to the original Pagan religions, labeled as "Satanism" meaning "enemy/adversary" in Hebrew. If you read through the information contained within this website, we prove this.

Christianity was invented to remove spiritual and occult knowledge (the powers of the mind) from the populace and place this power in the hands of a "chosen" few to the detriment of all humanity. The powers of the mind and soul are very real. People who are unaware of or who do not believe in these powers are easy to control and manipulate by those who are skilled in using these energies.

The Original Gods [Demons] were unjustly labeled as monsters and branded as "evil" to keep humanity from spiritual knowledge. Because of this, the human race has drastically degenerated both spiritually and intellectually.

Spiritual Satanism strongly advocates all learning, knowledge, inquiry, and free thought.

Spiritual Satanism supports the separation of church and state. Satanists do not push Satanism or prosyletize.

Spiritual Satanists acknowledge science and believe everything of the occult/supernatural to have a rational scientific explanation. We believe humanity has been held back dangerously in this area due to the hoax of Judeo/Christianity and its relentless attacks upon science for centuries.

We practice power meditation to advance spiritually and to elevate ourselves. Power meditation is as essential for the human soul as food is essential for the human body. The serpent, a symbol of Satan represents the firey kundalini force coiled at the base of the spine, which upon ascending, transforms the human mind and soul to a much higher level of understanding and ability. This is the true meaning of "Raising the Devil." The Serpent symbol of Satan also represents the DNA helix of life.

We work directly with Satan. We believe each and every person who is willing and respectful can have a personal relationship with Satan. There are no mediators in Spiritual Satanism; the Ministry is here only for guidance and support.

We take our tenets and practices directly from Satan himself. For far too long, enemies of Satan such as the Christian churches have been at liberty to dictate lies concerning Satan and Satanism. These lies have been the foundation of occult crimes and other heinous acts that they indirectly promote. True Satanism has been actively and zealously suppressed for centuries and many out of ignorance believe lies about Satan and react accordingly.

Spiritual Satanism is a life loving religion. Satan accepts us as we are, but guides us to advance ourselves to where we evolve to a higher level. Spiritual Satanists are free to live their lives as they choose- responsibility to the responsible. We live by natural law and encourage everyone to develop themselves to their fullest extent.

We know we “save” our own souls as opposed to claims of the Nazarene saving anyone. Satanism is based upon the true transformation of the soul through power meditation. The Nazarene is a fictitious entity, whose identity was stolen form some 18+ crucified Pagan Gods, such as Odin, who hung from a tree and is nothing more than a tool to keep humanity under the control of a chosen few. The Nazarene has been used in Christian masses and services as a substitute for a human living blood sacrifice, revealing their true purpose.

The Judeo/Christian religion is a vicious hoax on humanity of catastrophic proportions. For a hoax to succeed there has to be a lack of knowledge on the part of the victim. The Christian religion and its cohorts actively suppress knowledge and free thought, encourage people to be slaves, and never advocate or teach anything for the betterment or advancement of humanity. As opposed to the stories of how the Nazarene healed people; Satan shows us how we can heal ourselves and perform so-called miracles, using our minds and the powers of our own souls.

Through empowering ourselves, we have confidence, self-respect and achieve spiritual advancement and independence.

Spiritual Satanism places no limits on developing the powers of the mind- known as "witchcraft" or "magick." We believe in justice and just as martial artists are versed in the uses of Dim Mak and other aspects of physical combat, Spiritual Satanists are versed in the Black Arts of "magick" should they ever need them. People who are unaware of these powers are defenseless against them, and the powers that be know this all too well. Satan does not tolerate injustice.

Spiritual Satanism does not in any way condone spirit abuse as taught in the classical grimoires. The Demons who were bound and compelled to do the bidding of the sorcerers are now free and anyone using the nine-foot circle methods and "Jehova" names is inviting personal disaster. The Demons are our friends and with respect and reverence in summoning through Satan, we seek to establish mutually beneficial relationships with them.

Spiritual Satanism advocates individuality, liberty, and independence.

It is obvious that Satan is not the "deceiver of humanity." His followers have been few in number and he doesn't need copious amounts of wealth, power and control to keep his followers.

i'd just like to say

that judd is also awesome. many thanks

ely and maddi are awesome

the title says it all.
the end.
ely's a bit more awesome though.

Music Trial HSC Performance- Video's.

Chelsea simply kickin' back!

Dedicated to my friends:

This one can be for Alex because she could do it so much better.

I also did "Love story" duet with (Madi) Dormz... but it's not perfected yet so i'll post the performance night version later this month. 

NOT that the above are perfected either... but they're reasonable-ish.

Main fuck-ups were the odd pitch in the word "happy" and transition note into climax in Guardian Angel.

Conformist Ideology.

So today I went down the street on a lonely adventure, and booked an appointment on thursday afternoon to get my lip pierced. I figured i'd be in the mood, after finishing drama HSC, for something wild.
Then I strolled up to a hairdressers and said "Im looking at doing something radical colour-wise."
So yeah, we thought perhaps many chunks of black and Ice Blonde, as well as natural colour and possibly a purple chunk?
But it got me thinking... Now I'll probably get classed "Emo" or "Scary"
and I'm scared work wont like it.
Thats what frustrates me. Thats who I am.
Why should I have to respect people's opinions on what is "appropriate".
I am who I am.
Can't wait for the day when piercings and tattoos etc are accepted.
Or maybe... that's why we like them, because they aren't socially accepted entirely.
I think that plays a small role.
I should just say its part of my culture or religion :D
I'm almost positive my mum thought i was joking about the piercing,
she's gonna be pleasantly surprised come thursday night.

Laugh as much as you breathe.

A laugh is a smile that burst.

Laughter, and orgasms are humans only weapons of escape.

:) (*Watch "how to eat an oreo UK commercial... SO GOOD!)




My life has been busy as a mother!
Stupid HSC.
Just did my monologue at performance night. Woo. I'll post the video of it when i get it.
HAHA and (its about spiders) when i got home a huge spider effin crawled past me on my bed!
And also did my music performance trials.
Again i'll post a video when i get it :)
But yeh that day Madison bought me a Uke!
it was SO aweosme and trippy cool timing!
I had been playing haydens all day and then was thinking of buying one and BOOM!
I love you Madison! so much.
We had Freya's 18th.
I danced with her Nan.
She made me perform two songs lol...
so i used my Uke and played my newest and Happy by NSN.
Was fun.
Next night we drew Tattoo's all over eachother.
And Ash, Zack, and Maddi came over.
Had a cosy sleep beside Madison and Ash ;)
But yeh. there's a heap of things I need to blog about... scan pics, upload video's etc.
I'll get to it in the next few days so look out!
Oh! and in fathers day fashion we went and visited my dad. LOL.
Nah it was sort of cute. I think he liked Madison, a little too much haha. My G-ma too.
And he gave me heaps of odd things.

Hearts on Holidays

So in english today, i found some lyrics i wrote when Madison was in Queensland and mixed them into a song i had been sort of starting. Everything just clicked. Came home to play it... and thought i'd film it so id remember it, but thought it's probably reasonable to show you all the jist of it :)
Aren't "Vlogs" just the worst! Sorry im such a douche! :S Oh and this was 1st & only first take! 
>>>> Lyrics i've posted in "responses" aka comments :)
WARNING: Its super shit.

*** 1st line of chorus sounds heaps like that song by that dude on radio a while back with the uke *insert name* but that was a mistake... it's not how its meant to be sung. haha its just similar rhymes and too catchy, my bad.
Yeh so hope you enjoyed... i might reecord a crappy version tonight, if i do it'll be on www.myspace.com/juddlockz 

But yeh, i plan on recording a proper EP asap... and ive got all my song ideas planned out.
This one wasnt it the  EP plan but ah well... i can never write "happy" sounding songs so im glad i finally managed!
Much love from Judd :)
xxx

I'm Buzzing like a Bee

In the best mood.
Sitting in assembly with my laptop hidden.
Just won an award!
HAHA.
But i would just like to say:
Making friends with enemies is a wonderful feeling.
Being Happy is seriously the best feeling.
Excitement is excellent.
Dont know why im excited but lol, maybe that school's ending.